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“What did you do?”
“I might have gotten off the bus with my luggage at the gas station. Then told the bus driver to leave without me.”
“YOU WHAT?”
“Haha, I know right. Who even am I?”
“A girl who is in love with a boy,” her voice is gentle. She knows this is not something I would normally do. I’m a predictable person, for the most part.
“Is this stupid? Am I crazy? What if he doesn’t even really like me? What if it was just a fun trip with someone to have sex with occasionally?”
“Occasionally, really? Y’all were humpin’ like rabbits.”
“Chrissy, seriously.”
“Alright, alright. I don’t think what you are doing is stupid. You are not crazy, and from what you've told me, it sounds like he probably feels the same way about you.”
“Thank you,” I say and look around. I’m on the edge of town, but there is a motel right next to the truck stop. “I think I will get a room tonight. I need to call the airline and cancel my flight. Then, I’ll figure out what the hell I am going to do.”
“Let me know if there is anything you need from me.”
“I may need you to just check in at the library for me. I will call Rose and see if she can continue to cover for me.”
“You know that woman wants your job, right?”
“Yeah. I know, so it shouldn’t be an issue for her to keep going. Just look around and make sure things aren’t…out of place.”
“Roger that.”
“Thanks Chrissy. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
“You’re welcome, Tits. Keep me updated.”
“I will. Bye.”
“Bye.”
“Oh wait, Chrissy.”
“Yeah?”
“Can you make sure my bird feeders are filled too?”
“Of course, Titmouse. No problem.”
I laugh and hang up my phone, grab the handle of my suitcase, and wheel it across the parking lot to the motel next door.
Thankfully, they have plenty of rooms open. After I get settled, I give Rose a call. I tell her my flight was canceled, and I won’t be able to get another one for a couple of days. I know it’s not the truth, but I’m not about to tell the woman who wants my job that I am staying behind for a guy and sweeping my responsibilities under the rug.
Then I sit.
I sit and try to come up with a plan. It’s Sunday, and I know Chris said he has to work tomorrow.
Ugh! What am I thinking? This IS stupid, and I AM crazy. What do I think is going to happen if I just show up and tell Chris how I feel? Are we going to date long distance? Across the United States from each other? Doesn’t that usually turn into one person moving? I don’t want to move. I love my apartment, my friends…well friend, and my library.
I don’t think I am ready for that kind of commitment. Not after what happened in my last relationship. No, I shouldn’t compare Chris to Chad because they truly are completely different people, but to commit to a long-distance relationship takes a lot of faith.
My birds. What about the birds I feed? They would miss me, too. I need to sleep on this. I’m so confused. This is why I don’t do things like decide something so drastic at the last minute.
