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I stalk over to stand next to him. Seb prowls over to flank me on the other side, with Massimo next to him. Adrian falls in line next to him. Christian draws in a breath. He stabs out his cigarette on the bar counter, stumbles across the terrace, and comes to a halt next to Seb. Christian sways; Seb steadies him, but Christian pulls free. He fixes his gaze on that full glass on the counter.
For a few seconds, all of us stare at the glass, then I raise mine. "To Xander." I swallow down the ball of emotion in my throat. "Rest in peace, brother."
"To Xander." Seb raises his glass, "I’ll miss your easygoing nature, little brother."
"And your humor," Massimo jerks his chin, "not that I understood all of your jokes."
The rest of us chuckle.
"You were way too much of a nerd... But I’ll still miss the jokes that I did not understand." Massimo’s lips kick up in the semblance of a smile.
"I’ll miss how you always made everyone feel like you were giving them your complete attention. You actually cared for others…" Adrian draws in a breath, "unlike the rest of us reprobates, who swear by violence; you were the good one among us."
Luca goes still. He seems like he’s about to say something, then shakes his head. "I’m sorry," he squeezes his eyes shut, "I am so sorry. You had the best of us all—the most goodness, the most talent, the most warmth… It should have been me, not you,fratellino."
"It should have," Christian says through gritted teeth. "Why don’t you fuck off and off yourself, eh? Why don’t you leave and never return, youtesta di cazzo!"
"Christian," I growl.
"Don’t tell me you don’t agree." The skin across his knuckles whitens as he squeezes his fingers around the glass. "This asshole, here, is responsible for your child being killed. I’m sure you’ve thought of that."
"Christian," I snap. "Shut the fuck up."
"I am only saying what everyone is thinking," he growls. "This asshole is responsible for everything that happened. If he hadn’t helped Karma leave, she’d still be here and so would your child, and Xander would not be lying in a coffin six feet under and—" he draws in a breath and his features seem to crumple. He manages to get a hold of himself, only for a tear to run down his cheek. "F-u-c-k," he cries, "fuck, this shit." He tosses his drink back, turns to leave, but Luca grabs his shoulder.
"I am sorry, brother. I really am sorry for what I did. I swear, I had no idea it would turn out like this."
"Didn’t you?" Christian tries to pull away but Luca doesn’t let go.
"I really didn’t. I messed things up, I know that, but I am here now, aren’t I? I am going to help you guys take revenge on the Kane Company. This, I promise."
"Fuck that." Christian swings, Luca ducks, and Christian’s glass crashes to the floor as Luca wraps his arms around him. "Let the fuck go of me, man."
"No," Luca says in a hard voice, "This family has been fractured enough. The rest of us need to stick together now. It’s the only way we are going to survive."
"And what if I don’t want to survive?" Christian glares at him, "What if I don't want to go on living? What if I—"
Luca slaps his face.
"What the—!" Christian gapes. "How dare you?" He tries to headbutt Luca, whose still-full glass hits the floor and rolls away.
Luca wraps his arms around Christian and holds him immobile. "How dare you talk about dying, you asshole? If anything, Xander’s death should have taught you how lucky you are; how lucky we all are to be alive. We love you, Christian, don’t you get that?"
"Yeah," Adrian, nods. He moves around, throws his arms around the both of them. "We need you with us, bro."
"Totally," Seb walks over to them and hugs the lot of them.
Massimo heaves a sigh, "Can’t believe I am going to do this," He tosses back his drink, glances around for somewhere to place it. Then, still clutching the glass in his gigantic hand, he closes the distance to them, and enfolds his big arms around the group.
He glares at me over the heads of our brothers. I glance away, stalk over to the bar and place the glass on the counter. I draw in a breath, square my shoulders, then turn and prowl over to the group where I wrap my arms around all of them.
For a few seconds we stay that way, then Christian grumbles, "Enough of this emo shit."
Instantly, I step back. So does Massimo, then Adrian, Seb, and Luca.
Christian rubs the back of his neck. "I need another fucking drink."
"And I," I roll my shoulders "have something I need to do."
