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"Oh." Her shoulders slump. She doesn't say another word as I peel off her sweater. She's wearing a shirt inside. I shrug off my jacket which is dry—thank fuck—and drape it over her shoulders. Then snatch my hat off of my head and place it on hers.
A trembling grips her and she sneezes.
Cazzo,I need to get her to warmth right now. I grab her clothes off of the ground before I haul her up in my arms, then push forward until I reach a wall of bushes. I step through them, then pause. The snow seems to increase in intensity. A particularly big piece of ice slaps into my face, and I flinch. I hunch my body over hers, trying to protect her the best I can.
She stirs, then murmurs, "W-where are we?" She coughs and her entire body shudders. It seems to set off a bout of shivering, and she huddles closer to me.
I glance around. Which way did we come? Damn it, why wasn’t I more cognizant of our surroundings? I juggle her around until I manage to pull my phone out of my jacket pocket. I try to turn it on, but of course, the battery is dead. I had been wearing a waterproof jacket, and while I had belly crawled on the frozen surface of the lake, I hadn't gotten drenched the way Theresa had. So that should’t have affected the phone. Did I remember to charge the device, though? I can't remember now.
"Your phone," I ask her, "do you have it?"
"In my p-po…cket," she says through her chattering teeth.
Cazzo,I need to get us to warmth before she comes down with pneumonia. I reach for her jeans pocket, but can’t find the phone. Feel my way around to the other side and pull out her phone, but it’s also dead.
Fuck," I growl, "fuckin’ fuck."
"Wh-what are we g-going to do?" She presses her lips, which have already turned blue.
I glance around, spot a break in the trees, and head for it.
Another burst of shivering grips her. A moan spills from her lips. "C-cold… I’m so … c-cold, Ch-christ… ian." She shudders.
I break into a run. My lungs burn, and my breath catches in my throat. Her wet clothes slap against my thigh, the cold penetrating through my skin, into my bones, and I swear, I can feel my blood freeze. I reach the break in the trees and find a path. Finally, fuck. I race up the path which winds and turns.
"Wh-where are we g-going?" she asks.
"Back to the chalets, I hope."
"Th-this isn’t the w-way … we c-came." By now, her shivering is constant.
"Yeah, I figured that out a few minutes ago."
"So w-why are you s-still—"
"Running? Because it’s better than freezing to death standing in place. And if there’s a path, surely, it must lead somewhere?"
I continue to jog, trying to hold her as close as possible. Her wet clothes weigh me down while my boots make every step an ordeal. My thigh muscles protest and my feet are so numb I can barely manage to grip the surface of the path with my soles. My shoulders hurt; my lungs scream for a break. I slow down, all sensations in my arms having faded long ago, but I dare not put her down. I glance down to find her eyes closed, her features so pale that her eyelashes stand out in stark contrast to her leached-of-color cheeks.
Her body convulses, and I can only stare helplessly. Fuck, I won’t be able to save her. She is going to die in my arms, and there is nothing I can do about it. Just like I was unable to save Xander.
By the time I had driven up, flames were leaping from Michael’s car. I’d jumped out, gone over to the car, and with Seb’s help, managed to pull Xander out. But he hadn’t stirred. Not when we’d lowered him to the ground. Not when I’d reached for the piece of metal protruding from his chest, and Seb stopped me. He’d cautioned me to wait for the medics to arrive.
So, I’d slid down to my knees next to him, held his hand, locked my gaze on his face, and willed him to live. I had not let go when the ambulance arrived and the medics ran to him. They’d checked his vitals and declared him dead, and I still hadn’t let go. I’d gripped his hand, beseeched him to open his eyes, to tell me he was okay. But he never had.
I’d refused to let go of him, and it had taken Massimo folding his arms around me and begging me to release him, for him to unwrap my fingers one by one from that of my soul brother, my twin, my life partner, my life saver… And when I’d finally released him, and they had taken him away in the ambulance, I knew that I’d never be the same again.
And now, she is going to die, and nothing can bring me back from this tragedy. I cannot live to see another day like this. If she is gone, then so am I. If she leaves me then … I’ll kill myself. I stare down at her closed eyelids; I will never let myself feel again, think again… Never let myself live. No. I will retreat from this life, from this hell on earth that I find myself in again. I will—
Her eyelids flutter. Those golden orbs stare at me. The light in them is dulled, but as I watch, something sparks deep inside. She moves her lips, but I can’t hear anything. Can’t understand what I’m seeing. Then she raises her hand. Her palm connects with my face, and my neck snaps back; pain shudders down my spine, and heat flushes my skin. My gut twists, and blood rushes to my groin.
I lower my head and smash my mouth to hers with such force that our teeth clash. I draw off her breath, drink of her essence, and thrust my tongue over hers. I dig my teeth into her bottom lip, and the coppery taste of her blood fills my palate. I tear my mouth from hers. My breath comes out in puffs. My chest rises and falls as I stare at her.
"Wh-what… ha-happened?" she whispers. "You l-look like you saw a g-ghost." Her teeth chatter, and I haul her even closer.
"I…" I shake my head. "Nothing. I was just..." I glance away. A ball of emotion fills my throat, and I swallow it down. I take in my surroundings, blinking back the moisture that threatens to overflow my eyes.
Something catches my eye in the distance. I peer through the snow. What the hell is it? Is that a—? I begin to walk toward it. My steps speed up. Before I realize it, I’m running again. I turn a bend in the path and come to a halt.
