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"I know what you want. I’m the only one who knows what you need. Thinking of you is what keeps me awake. Dreaming of you is the only reason I allow myself to sleep. Wanting you is the one good thing I’ve done in my life, and you want to take that away from me?" It feels like someone has wrapped their hands around my neck and is squeezing the life out of me.
I push up to my feet. My knees wobble, but the damn things hold, thank fuck. I take a step forward, and fuck, maybe I spoke too soon, because my thighs spasm. "Che cazzo!" I thrust out a hand to grab the edge of the bed, but she rushes over and grabs it instead.
"Massimo, please." She squeezes my arm, and pinpricks of heat shiver out from the point of contact. Every cell in my body seems to come alive. This woman. Why can’t she understand how much she means to me?
I wind my arm around her waist and draw her close. "Look into my eyes, Via."
She shakes her head.
"Via, please, baby, give me this, at least."
She bites down on her lower lip, and my dick twitches. She tips up her chin, then finally raises her gaze to mine. Watery green eyes, smudges in the hollows under her eyes, skin that reminds me of the finest gossamer, and the scar that curls across her cheek toward the corner of her eyes.
"You are so beautiful."
A teardrop squeezes out from the corner of her eye. "Don’t," she whispers.
I bend and lick the trail of moisture down her cheek. She shivers. I press tiny kisses down to the corner of her mouth, and a moan bleeds from her lips. I brush my mouth over hers, and a sigh breezes out from her.
"I wish I could turn back the clock. I wish I’d found you sooner, so I could love you longer."
Another tear rolls down her cheek. "Massimo, please don’t make this so difficult for me."
I peer between her eyes and I see pain, pleading, and something else, something I dare not put a name to. An emotion so very much like love. She loves me; she’s just not ready to admit it. Maybe what she needs is time… and space.
I tilt my head and capture her mouth with mine. I thrust my tongue between her lips and drag it across her teeth. I suck on her tongue and kiss her, trying to convey all of the love I feel for her, then release her so suddenly, she stumbles a little. I step back, and the cool air rushes between us. She stands there, blinking.
"Go." I jerk my chin toward the doorway. "Go, please... before I change my mind."
55
Massimo
"So, you let her leave?" JJ leans forward in his chair. The same chair she was seated in less than an hour ago. I asked her to leave and she hesitated. When I didn’t say anything more, she conveyed her thanks with her eyes, then pivoted and walked quickly through the door. I sagged back onto the bed and fell asleep almost immediately. When I woke up again, it was to find JJ in my room. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed to find him instead of her.
"She asked you to let her go, and you did?" he asks again.
"What choice did I have?"
"You always have a choice." He drums his fingers on the arm of the chair.
"So what, I should have restrained her and prevented her from leaving?"
"It’s an idea." He raises a shoulder.
"You’ve never been in love, have you?" I scoff.
“As I told you before, The only four-letter word I’m acquainted with doesn’t begin with an L.”
"Never say never." I move around to find a more comfortable position on the bed. "I was just like you. Then, I met her, and my world tilted on its axis. I didn’t think it was possible to feel anything as remotely intense as what I feel for her. I met her, and now, she’s the last thought in my mind before I drift off to sleep, and the first thought when I wake up each morning. When I’m not with her, I want to be with her, and when I am with her, I want to never let go of her."
He watches me with a curious look in his eyes. "It sounds… painful."
I chuckle. "It’s… energizing, and strangely, life-affirming. Apparently, life is all about living it for someone else. Who knew, eh?"
"That’s how I felt when I had my children. I took one look at them and knew my life had changed irrevocably. I knew I’d do anything for them. But feeling that way for a woman...?" He shakes his head. "I confess, I’ve never had such thoughts for a woman. And hopefully, I never will."
"I never wanted to have kids. But then, I met her, and the thought of seeing her pregnant with my child brings out a part of me that I didn’t even know existed."
