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“But you’re both ready to be done with this place and uncertain of what the hell you’re going to do after they hand us our diplomas?”
“I’m not even sure I’m gonna walk.” That admission staged a jailbreak, slipping through the bars before I could get the door shut on it.
“Frankie,” Jake admonished, straightening abruptly. “Why wouldn’t you? You’re in the top of the class—not just the top percent, but the top twenty people. You’re gonna graduate with honors and have a ridiculous number of college acceptances and probably enough scholarships to give you a full ride at the priciest of schools.” His mouth firmed and his head tilted as he eyed me. “You’ve probably applied for every single one you qualified for and have a stack of applications waiting to hit send on when you meet some arbitrary date or requirement they have…”
Well, he wasn’twrong. Heat flooded the back of my neck and left my cheeks flushed and far too warm.
“Ha,” Jake said with a smirk. “See? I know you.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
Those words stymied his smile, and he frowned at me. “Then what are you talking about?”
“Everyone—everyone earns a diploma. On May 18th, at fifteen minutes after three when our senior grades lock in—I’ll have qualified for graduation or not. That diploma is mine. You don’t have to walk to get it.”
The frown fell away from his expression and his eyes sobered. “Well, I guess… yeah, I guess you don’t have to actually walk to get that.”
“Graduation gowns and packages are expensive, Jake.” Talking about money was a taboo, but Jake got it. He worked part time to help out his mom and his younger sisters. The SUV had been a guilt gift from his dad. A return on an investment. His dad was still serving overseas and, while his sisters went to visit, Jake steadfastly hadn’t. Not once since him and his mom came back to the States.
“The base package is about sixty bucks—that’s cap, gown, and cord. You don’t need any of the rest of it. I mean who needs some fancy frame with the year on it?” In this, we were united.
“And sixty bucks is two tanks of gas on my way to school. Sixty bucks is a week’s worth of groceries for just me—not counting the cats.”
A flash of a smile appeared on his face.
“Sixty bucks for an outfit I have to wear over another outfit that I’llneverwear again? You can’t even donate it because they shift the shade of the gown each year.” They claimed they didn’t, but they did. There was a reason why they recommended you didn’t “borrow” one from a previous graduating class.
“I’ll pay for it,” Jake offered.
“Jake…”
“No,” he said, setting his hand over mine on the desk. “I know you didn’t tell me any of this because you were looking for someone to pay for the gown. I get it. I know… I know we give you a hard time about your job.”
A hard time? They’d been relentless, always teasing me that I worked too hard and it made me a dull girl. That was why they had shown up at Mason’s or dragged me out to movies.Friends don’t let friends get dull.
“But I clip coupons for my mom, I scan the sale papers, I’ll make the trips to the different stores to get the best deals when she’s on a limited budget.” Child support didn’t stretch as far as it used to, not when his youngest sister seemed to outgrow everything year after year. She was going to be tall—like Jake. His other sisters were more average in height, unlike me, but Louisa was almost 5’7 and she was in sixth grade and already taller than either of her older sisters. “You have plans.”
“So do you,” I reminded him. “This isn’t about sixty dollars for a graduation gown. It’s about all the things that come after it,ifI get into the school I apply for, and if I get the scholarships or if I get the financial aid… It’s not just about the money; it’s everything.”
Head canted, Jake frowned. “You’re scared?”
“Fucking terrified,” I admitted. For the first time, maybe ever, I’d said it aloud. Surprise filtered through his expression, and I forced a smile. Though I doubted he believed it anymore than I did. “Just had to figure that out. Had to put money away…” Because even if all I got was a local college, I had to go. I had to plan my future, and I had to make it work for me.
I wasn’t going to… Shutting off that uncharitable thought, I exhaled harshly. “I really don’t want to talk about money anymore.”
He stared at me for a beat too long. For a tense second, I thought he wouldn’t let it go. As much as I hated to admit it, I’d missed all of them. “Okay,” he said, leaning back in his seat. Then he tapped the sheet on top of the textbook. “You really got a dummies guide?”
Just like that, all the air rushed back into the room and the discomfort bled out of my muscles. Jake wore a familiar patient expression and his eyes had warmed from demanding and chilly to teasing and cool.
It took me a minute to dig out the dummies guide from my backpack. When I held it up, he snorted.
“Read it yet?”
“Maybe,” I admitted. Thankfully, his roll of the eyes this time was a little more lighthearted than his earlier scoffing. He tugged the book from my fingers and began to flip through it. “The point is—they use different phrases and focus to tackle basically the same stuff the text does, but it’s distilled down. Think—a little more researched docudrama versus documentary.”
“Huh.”
Two pages in, I’d lost him to reading the dummies book. I didn’t mind. That was—familiar. Jake read a lot, it made him a fun person to debate the finer points of a text or a lesson with because he devoured books the way I did. After checking the chapter numbers for this week’s reading, I sprawled in the desk and twisted the chair in front of me so I could put my feet up. Jake mirrored my pose, only his feet were on my desk—at least he wasn’t in the way.
