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Sweat tickled at the back of my neck. “I’m sorry.”
With a shrug, Coop said, “I shouldn’t have started seeing her again. She really isn’t the girl I want to date.”
“Then I’m proud of you.” I meant it.
He smiled. “Can I carry the basket for you now?”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine.” Turning, I continued toward our courtyard with Coop falling into step.
“We’re okay, right? You and me?”
At the steps to my apartment, I glanced at him. “I don’t know…and I’m not saying that because I want to make this worse. But I’m mad. The mad—it doesn’t just go away because you finally get it. You guys—you made a decision about me and you never even asked me. I think that was the hardest part. I spent most of my junior year wondering what was wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“Yeah, well, I feel like I was the only girl who never got asked out. Even if I hadn’t wanted to go… I could have at least said no. But I didn’t get that chance. I don’t know if I’ll get it this year. I’m busy, and I have a lot to do, but I do know that you guys? You made it worse.”
Coop kicked a rock and sent it skittering over to bushes. “I didn’t know.”
“Well, now you do. Anyway,” I said with a sigh. “I need to go put this stuff up and get ready for work.”
“You still have plans tonight?” His eyebrows were up, his expression hopeful. “Or was that basically a way to blow me off?”
“Believe it or not, I do have plans, and I’m not changing them.”
I made it up three steps when he asked, “What are you doing?”
“Something new,” I told him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”
But I didn’t wait for his answer as I let myself in.
“I don’t know,” my mom was saying. “I’ve barely been here this week. I can’t just plan an entire week away.” Her voice was muted, but it carried from the other room. “You’re tempting me…” When she laughed, I paused. I don’t think I’d ever heard my mom laugh like that. “Okay,” she said, her voice getting quieter. “She’ll be back in a minute, so I need to get off the phone. Yes. Tonight. I can’t wait.”
I was torn between gagging and laughing. She sounded really happy. And she hadn’t heard me come in, so I opened the backdoor as quietly as I’d closed it, then slammed it shut. “I’m back,” I called.
After locking the door, I kicked my flip-flops under the table and then carried the laundry through. Mom was coming out of the bedroom, her cheeks a little rosier and her eyes a little brighter.
I was still trying to wrap my mind around Mom and her secret boyfriend when she followed me to my room. “I know I haven’t been around much the last few days,” she said.
“It’s fine,” I told her. “I’ve been really busy.” Not a lie. “School’s is going to be crazy this year.”
Standing in the doorway, she frowned. “Maybe you could take on fewer hours? I know the boys and you had plans this weekend, and you said you went to the game on Friday?”
“Yeah, Jake and Bubba did great. We won the first game.” I put my laundry away. “I don’t want to take shorter hours. They cut me back for school already. Right now—barring expenses…” Like a new coffee table or getting my tires fixed. “I could have everything I need to make the move and to supplement myself while I find a job up there. Harvard’s a long way away.”
“Sweetie…you know you’re putting an awful lot on getting into Harvard.”
I shrugged. “Aim for the stars. Even if I miss, I’ll still be above the clouds.” I’d seen that on a sign when I was five. I’d never forgotten it. “Besides, I know I need financial aid and everything else.” And then some. “But if I don’t try, I definitely won’t get in.”
“It’s almost seventy thousand a year with housing.”
“I know, Mom. I also know it’s going to be worth it.” And I really didn’t want to have this conversation. “You let me worry about it. You got stuff to do with your work peeps tonight, and I gotta get ready for work.”
Mom nodded slowly. “You’ve been applying for scholarships, right?”
“Like my life depended on it. I won’t find out about the big ones until spring.” Might not find out about Harvard until then.
“All right, I know you have everything under control. You always do, but—I want you to have some fun this year. You work so hard.”
