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I was still trying to digest what this all meant as I clocked out and headed for the doors. I had to count my tips, and I needed a shower in the worst way. But the papers in my hands were like holding onto real gold. The heat outside was a slap as I made my way to the car.
Archie’s and Jake’s had bracketed it earlier when they came in to do their homework along with Coop. I’d been too busy to hang out, but they’d been great, and it had been nice to have them there. They were still being protective, even if Ian hadn’t been with them…
Even if…
Some of the joy of the scholarship waned. There was no even if. I didn’t like the fact Ian had taken off. I liked even less that he wasn’t answering my texts. Hypocritical, considering I ghosted them over the summer? Maybe.
But he just left the morning before. It had all seemed fine, and then he left. I guess it wasn’t fair to expect all of them to be okay with me dating each of them, but they were the ones who’d said it was all right.
Then again, Ian was also the first one to ask me out, and I had sex with Archie and with Jake. So maybe his leaving was my fault.
Sitting down in the driver’s seat, I got the car started and opened the windows to let the hot air out. I was already sweating. October was literally right around the corner, but it was still hot.
Sweat already dampened my back, but I just unfolded the scholarship letter and reread it. It seemed surreal. A quarter of a million dollars. Some of the scholarships I applied for were like twenty grand, and that even seemed like spitting into the wind at the idea I’d get it.
Marsha was the best.
I wanted to take a picture of it send it to the chat I had with all the guys, but like the chat with Ian, that one had been quiet all weekend. I’d talked to Archie, Jake, and Coop in our individual threads, but not in the group.
Coop and I hadn’t really talked about Ian the night before, and Archie and Jake had been all about the dresses. When I did laundry earlier, Jake and I had debated the latest History Buff video while Coop made a top ten list of all the reasons he was never going shopping again, except he’d enjoyed seeing me in the dresses.
That had been funny.
Archie had just asked how I was doing, and I knew what he really wanted to know was whether I had bad meatloaf at home. Thankfully, that answer had been no. I mean, maybe they were there, except the cats hadn’t been locked in my room, so I thought it was a safe bet they weren’t.
Speaking of the cats, I needed to go feed them. I also still needed to get Coop something for his birthday. But instead of pulling out and heading home or sending a text to the guys, I re-read the letter for the third time.
My phone buzzed.
Jake:Probably going to be late. 7 okay?
I smiled.
Me:7 is fine. Want me to order takeout?
Jake:Nope. Unless you’re still tired from last night. Then I can bring food.
Me:You want to go out, out?
Jake:Duh. Let me know if you don’t. That’s okay. Gotta run, baby girl. See you soon.
I’d textthe guys when I got home. I could celebrate with Jake tonight, but I wanted all of them to know. It wasn’t until I got home and fed the cats that the nerves resurged. If I sent the news to the group chat and everyone but Ian responded, that would suck.
But if I changed the group message or created a new one without him in it? That would be worse.
Damned if I did. Damned if I didn’t.
By the time I finished my shower, I wasn’t so much sad as pissed off. Fine, if Ian wanted to be friends—friends still answered their text messages. When I’d stopped answering their messages over the summer, I’d been angry with them. Angry and hurt.
So if he wasn’t answering mine…
Wrapped in a towel with another around my hair, I picked up the phone and opened his text message.
Me:I know you’ve been quiet since you left, and maybe you need the time. That’s okay. But not answering me is not okay. I am worried about you. I miss you. When I didn’t talk to you over the summer, it was because I was mad. I was hurt. I felt betrayed. If you feel that way, I’m sorry. Please tell me what I did wrong.
That last line was pathetic.I backed it up and changed it.
Me:Please talk to me.
