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I didn’t want to anymore.
I wanted to fix this.
Fix us. But I wasn’t putting that on her right now.
I glanced at Jake and raised my brows. This wasn’t just me talking here, but us. He nodded once, and then we both looked at her. “How do we do that?” Jake asked. “Because she’s the important one.”
“Well, you start with acknowledging aloud what you’re feeling, even if you think it’s selfish. We all have a right to our feelings, and if you bury them, you run the risk of letting them become insecurities, and those will bite you in the ass.”
I almost laughed. She just wanted us to say what we were feeling.
“I love her,” Jake said without missing a beat. “And I want to give her back the fun we were having that night, and I can’t. I want to kill Mitch, because while he might not have been a close friend, he was still someone I thought of as a friend and he tried to hurt her. He did hurt her. I hate that I wasn’t the one who broke his damn jaw.”
Fuck, Jake made it sound so easy.
“But I’m damn glad you got there,” he continued, and I jerked my glance to him and met his gaze. “I’m damn glad youwerethere. I’m glad you’re not running away. We need you.”
The silence stretched out as he finished, and my breath came out in almost too loud rasps. “I’m…” I clenched my jaw. “I love her, too. And I hate that I’m saying this to you and not her, but I don’t want her to have to fix this for me. She already…she always carries so much. This is just one more thing. Homecoming was supposed to be special, and I fucked up before we even got there and then this happened.”
I lifted my bruised and battered hand. They’d taped it up at the hospital after they’d set the knuckles. Said there wasn’t much more they could do with it. Honestly, I liked the fact that it hurt. It reminded me I had hit the son of a bitch.
“I wanted to kill him when I saw him. Everything just… I get pissed just thinking about it now. I hate everything about it. My part in it. And I don’t know how to fix it. How to make it right. It’s not fair.”
Jake nodded slowly.
“Well, you’ve taken the first step. The next is asking yourselves, and each other, what can you do right now?”
Right now?
We glanced at each other and then at her. We were stuck at school, stuck going to this session. What could we be doing?
We could be at homewithher.
The session just seemed to drag after that. I wanted to talk to Jake, but not with Diane moderating it or whatever it was she was doing. As aware of the time as I was, Jake still beat me to the punch when our time was up. He was already standing, backpack in hand and halfway to the door, when she said, “Guys, you made good progress today. Spend some time thinking about what I asked and talking to each other. Friday, we’ll meet again, all right?”
I wanted to say no and from the look on Jake’s face, he wanted to say no too, but we didn’t.
Coop was sound asleep on the couch out in the waiting area. Jake nudged him as we headed out, and he jerked his head up at us blearily. Raking a hand through his hair, he rolled to his feet without complaint and shuffled out with us. We had maybe five minutes before the bell rang. The fact the sessions took our entire lunch periodsucked. But I didn’t have study hall in fifth, so lunch it was.
“Archie texted,” Coop said after sweeping a glance around. “She’s slept most of the morning. He just ordered food in and coffee. Said we should pick up dinner on our way home.”
“Sounds good.” We’d ridden in with Jake. Like the guys, I’d crashed at Frankie’s the last couple of nights. It might have taken me time to get my ass over there, but once I was there, I didn’t want to leave. We’d already told Coach we wouldn’t be at practice this week, I was benched because of the hand regardless, and Jake told him family emergency. Right now, we were going to be where we were needed. With that, we split up and headed in different directions. I was almost to my class when my phone buzzed.
Jake:I meant what I said in there. You did something, B. You knocked that asshole out and stopped him. We’ll figure this shit out, okay?
Me:I wish it was more.
Jake:Me too.
“Hey Bubba.”The absolute last person I wanted to talk to was waiting for me outside of my last class of the day. What little peace I’d put together over the last couple of hours fractured. I didn’t look at her, I just walked.
Unsurprisingly, she hurried after me, and I kept my gaze pinned over the heads of the other students. All I had to do was hit the parking lot and head out to Jake’s SUV. Then we’d go get food. I’d texted Frankie before seventh, and she’d answered that she’d kill for an ice cream shake.
Her throat really hurt, so I was down for making sure that happened.
“Bubba,” Sharon said again as she grabbed my arm, and I made it three more steps half-dragging her before I turned and glared at her. I did not want to talk to her. I didn’t give a damn what she had to say. She’d been a total fucking bitch to Frankie, and I was sorry I’d ever given her the time of day.
“What?”
