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Chapter Four
I paced the room, waiting for my mates. There was no more waiting, no more churning things around in my mind for another single minute.
I had to face my fears.
“Is something wrong?” Arne came in first. He had his dingy stable clothes on, which made him look like the most handsome brute who ever lived. He would wear that all the time if it was up to me. After all, that was how I met him and began to fall for him, when I thought he was simply a nice guy who loved horses as much as I did.
I held up a finger and my notepad already scribbled on with the words,Let’s wait for everyone.
Gunnar was next, followed by Leif close behind. They all took a seat, and I pulled a chair in front of them. I took up a pen. I was much too afraid they would hear my fear in my voice.
Except my hand shook as I tried to write.
“Mate, just use your voice. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together. There’s nothing you can’t tell us.” Gunnar reached out his hand, and I took it, needing the strength only my mates could give me.
“I hear less and less every day. I can hardly pick up the bass of your voices anymore. It’s fading by the second. I just needed you to know. I don’t want to totally lose my hearing, but fate has other plans. I’m scared of living in complete silence. I’m scared I’ll never hear what I know of your voices again.”
My tears flowed as I spoke, some of the saltiness eventually weaving its way down my face and into my mouth. I brushed the tears away, but soon, they were replaced by new ones.
Arne got on his knees in front of me. “My queen, this changes nothing except that we all need to find a new way to communicate. A plan B if you will. It’s time the four of us buckled down and learned to be fluent in sign language. I bet you would feel more comfortable if we could sign to each other. Guys?”
It was funny that he looked to my other mates for backup on the issue. They were like their own little tribe now. A tribe who loved me to the ends of the Earth.
Gunnar leaned his elbows on his knees. “I think we should start immediately. Yes, I know you won’t be able to hear our voices anymore, and that is a great loss for you, but this way we can replace it with another form of communication to ease you. Don’t you think, love?”
My stare flicked to Leif, who, so far, had not spoken a word. He looked perplexed. Maybe he was rethinking being mated to a deaf queen.
I wouldn’t blame him. Being mated to a queen was hard enough work, and now I was asking him for more.
“Leif.” Arne elbowed Leif in the shin, knocking him out of his head and back into reality.
“Janis, I think we probably should’ve already started to learn sign language. I mean, we know a few things from the others, but I’m feeling like an awful mate for not realizing this before. We should’ve been working on a backup way before now.”
Goodness, my mates were always surprising me in the best way possible.
“Don’t put that weight on your shoulders. Hell, it’s my disability, and I didn’t realize how fast it was coming on. I just called you here because it’s been weighing on me and I wanted to tell you. I have a possible teacher lined up.”
Arne nodded. “I’m glad you did. Now, we have a plan. Maybe we can figure out a time when all four of us could learn together. Do you think the teacher would mind?”
“Not at all.” I was still crying. Gunnar stood, lifted me in his arms, and then put me on his lap. Leif moved his chair closer to me, and Arne was still on the floor in front of me. “What exactly did that mind of yours dream up was going to happen when you told us, mate? Those aren’t happy tears. My wolf feels your anxiousness. How can we soothe you?”
I took a deep breath. “I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to be mated to a deaf queen. I mean, I was already mostly there, but I’m a big bunch of headache without the total hearing loss. I thought at least one of you would leave me. I would never be the same.”
Arne leaned back, bracing himself on his hands. “Looks like we haven’t done a good enough job making our mate feel secure and safe, men. Janis, we will reinforce this with actions, I can promise you that, but nothing you could ever do would cause us to leave you. We are here as long as you will put up with us. However long you want and need us, that’s how long we will be by your side.”
It sounded like mating vows.
We hadn’t really done that yet.
“You believe us, don’t you?” Gunnar whispered in my ear, making me shudder. Gods, I had the best mates on the face of the Earth.
“I do. I really, really do.”
