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The emotion that rose in his throat made it necessary to cut himself off. Normally, he was good about tucking those old hurts away, but on Emma’s wedding day, standing beside his long-estranged brother, he felt the full weight of the mistakes he’d made as head of the family.
“I wish I could ask him things, too. Both of them.” Colin scuffed his dress boots through the grass. “Being home makes me wish that all the more.”
Drake looked up fast at that. “Is this still home for you? I haven’t spoiled that?”
“In spite of everything, yes, I guess it is.” Colin tipped his hat back farther on his head as he rocked on his heels. “Montana is nice, and I’m not returning here anytime soon. But I’ll always think of this place as home.”
Drake’s throat closed at the thought of his brother never around for more than the occasional wedding. The country music and the laugher from inside the barn seemed miles away as he dug deep to make a long-overdue apology.
“I’m sorry to hear that you’re not coming back. All the more so because it’s my fault you left. I had no right to interfere with you when you wanted to marry.” He couldn’t bring himself to saywhen you wanted to marry Fleur. Because he couldn’t even put their names together in his head without pain spiking throughout him.
“Your fault?” Colin shook his head, seeming genuinely surprised. “For what, saying the obvious that Fleur Barclay and I would never work in a million years? Don’t think I didn’t know that, brother.”
Reeling, Drake swept off his hat and scratched a hand through his hair, sifting through his brother’s words. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t just hearing what he wished to hear.
“I thought you were furious with me for asking her to end the engagement.” He knew Fleur had blamed him. Deservedly so.
“Hell no. I was furious with myself for hurting her in the first place when she and I—we were never going to be more than friends.” Colin turned a tortured expression his way, his eyes pained. “All this time, I thought you knew. I was ashamed I went after her when I knew you liked her.”
What? Had he been that obvious?
“Me?” He felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under him. He was left standing upright, but he wasn’t quite sure how. “Why would you think that when we couldn’t even stand to be around one another?”
Even as he spoke the words, Colin’s eyes shot heavenward. “It’s one thing to kid yourself, Drake, but you’re not fooling me. Then, or now. You’ve always liked Fleur. From the time you assigned yourself as her personal protector at every rodeo, chasing guys away with bared teeth, to when you nearly took my head off for sleeping with her.”
Drake bristled, his fingers fisting. And if justhearingthose words did that to him—maybe his brother had a point.
He swore softly under his breath.
“I hated myself even before you came home and found out about us.” Colin tipped his head to look at the sky where an early firework from a far-off neighbor sparkled red through the night.
“Let’s say for argument’s sake that I did have feelings for Fleur.” Did? The reality of his feelings was staring him in the face every time he stared at the kitchen windows down the hill and willed himself to catch a glimpse of her.
He loved Fleur.
Deeply. Passionately. And his brother had known it long before he had.
“All right,” his brother agreed. “We’ll say that.”
“Why would you be with her? I know we didn’t always see eye to eye, but I thought we got along well enough.”
Colin’s dark eyebrows shot together as he frowned. “It had more to do with me than you. I resented you too much for having your life together while I was always struggling in your shadow. I missed having a brother once you decided to step into Dad’s shoes and you called all the shots around here. You name it, I pinned it on you.”
A burst of laughter from inside the barn reminded Drake he should return to the reception soon. Share this day with Emma. And yet, he’d waited half a lifetime for this conversation with his brother. He couldn’t walk away from it now.
“I’ve only just started to realize that I may be more controlling than I should be.”
“May be?” his brother said with the quirk of an eyebrow.
Drake shrugged sheepishly. He recalled Fleur’s words too well about pushing his own agenda. And for what? He’d only hurt her by not giving her space to work through the legalities of the ranch inheritance in her own way. “And for that matter, I’ve also only started to understand that I have feelings for Fleur.” His heart felt full. Heavy with the knowledge he needed to share.
“I love her,” Drake admitted. “And I’ve been as hard-headed and blind with her as I have been with you.”
Another firework exploded silently from some distant point, the shimmer of yellow and green lights flashing across the sky.
Colin straightened from where he’d leaned against the cherry tree and clapped a heavy hand on Drake’s shoulder.
“If I’ve learned one thing in the past five years, it’s that it’s never too late to make better choices. Starting my own spread forced me to be my own man.” Colin nodded toward the building that housed the kitchen where Fleur worked. “I apologized to Fleur tonight for the mistakes I made in the past, and it felt good to know there were no hard feelings.”
