Page 17 of Never with Me


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“It’s crazy in here tonight,” I say, taking the offered seat. I look up to greet my other two cousins that Orrin said were here and freeze. My gaze collides with honey-colored orbs that have been on my mind all day.

“Ramsey,” Deacon's deep voice, which sounds like velvet wrapped around my name, greets me.

My hands are suddenly clammy, and my heart begins to race. “Deacon.” I nod and force myself to look at Brooks and Declan. “Hey.” I smile at my cousins.

“You good, Rams?” Declan asks.

“I’m good. Who has Blakely tonight?” I ask him. As a single father to a little girl, Declan always seems to be more in tune with emotions than the rest of his brothers.

“Mom and Dad. They’re camping out in the living room.” He smiles as if the thought alone is pleasing.

“Damn,” Brooks mutters, “I remember doing that when we were her age.”

“I’m sure they’d let you join them,” Orrin teases.

Brooks points at his oldest brother. “Don’t tempt me, my man. A night of Mom’s cooking and Blakely’s snuggles sound like a good time to me.”

I can’t help but smile at their banter. My cousins, all nine of them, are close. They’re the brothers I never had, and when I called my aunt Carol two years ago, they accepted me into their fold as if it was second nature. As the only girl in a house full of boys, it was challenging to say the least. I’m an only child, so it was an adjustment for me. Even though most of them had long since moved out by the time that I arrived, they’re still there all the time. The relationship they have with their parents is one I’ve never known, and to this day, it still astounds me how close they are and how much love they share.

I hope they realize how truly special and fortunate they are to have that bond. Not only with their parents, but with each other. They’ll never know the loneliness I grew up with.

“How did the photo shoot go?” Brooks asks. “I know you were stressing over it.”

“Fine.” I keep my eyes on his and don’t dare look at Deacon.

“Just fine?” he asks. I can hear the question in his voice. I can also hear the expectation. This is where I would tell them all about it. The good and the bad parts. Instead, I keep my mouth shut. I’m sure they don’t want to hear how I kissed their friend, who is much older than me, and that I’ve thought of nothing but him since the photo shoot.

“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” That’s the truth. I imagined torture, but instead, I got… Deacon.

“Who was the guy?” Declan asks. “I know you were worried about it.”

“I shouldn’t have been. Palmer had my back.” Another truth. No way can I tell them it was my best friend’s older brother and their friend. The guy who is sitting across the table from me, and makes my heart hammer in my chest. I knew they were friends. I’ve heard them talk about him, but I’ve never met him. Palmer says he works all the time, and the guys have said the same. However, so do I. If there was a time he was around, I was probably at work myself.

“Yeah?” Orrin asks. “So, who was he?”

“Me.” My eyes dart to Deacon as he raises his hand. “It was me.” His eyes are locked on mine, and it’s suddenly hard to breathe with his attention focused on me.

“You?” Orrin asks. He chokes on the word, as if he can’t believe that Deacon was my blind date.

“Yep,” Deacon replies, his eyes still locked on mine.

“How did Palmer rope you into that?” Declan asks with a laugh.

Deacon finally pulls his gaze from mine. “Fuck, you know how she is. I’ve never been able to say no to her.”

“So? How was it?” Brooks asks again. He’s bound and determined to pull it out of me.

“Good.” Deacon turns his attention back to me. “It was good.”

“Rams?” Brooks asks.

“I told you. It was fine. It wasn’t as bad as I anticipated.” Instead, it was better than I ever could have imagined.

“When do we get to see the pictures?” Orrin’s gaze bounces between his best friend and me.

“Ramsey and I get the first look. We get to veto any pictures we don’t want to be shared.”

“Is there something that happened that you don’t want to be shared?” Orrin’s voice is a little harder and a lot deeper than it was just moments before.

“No,” Deacon is quick to reply. “However, I know Ramsey was nervous, so I made sure that Palmer agreed to only share what she approved.”

“And what about you?” Declan inquires.

Deacon gives a slow lift of his shoulders. “I’d share them all.”

I can feel my face flame with embarrassment, but also something I can’t name. A swarm of butterflies surge to life in my belly at his confession. Maybe I wasn’t the only one feeling… connected that way. That’s the best way that I can describe it. The moment I laid eyes on him, his presence put me at ease.

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