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Blake finished a third piece of pizza, his stomach finally starting to feel full. Todd had shown up ten minutes ago with more food than the two of them could eat that night, but Blake liked leftover pizza straight from the fridge.
Eating cold pizza as he walked from his cabin to the lodge made happiness flow through him, but even pizza and sunshine couldn’t replace the hole in his heart that widened with each passing day where he only saw Gina for a few minutes.
He’d tried calling her at night, but he couldn’t predict where she’d be, and she sometimes sent him straight to voicemail with a quick,I’ll call you later.
Laterdidn’t come, and he’d see her the next morning only if he dared to poke his head into the kitchen after he’d eaten breakfast. The chefs didn’t come out and eat with everyone else, but took a break after everyone else had eaten.
She did still sneak away with him at lunchtime, but she literally set a timer for thirty minutes and enforced her departure strictly. She did have a lot of cakes, pies, bread puddings, and more desserts to make.
He simply missed her. He wanted to be first in her life, and the fact was, he wasn’t.
“It’s fine,” he muttered to himself, because he wasn’t going to be the cowboy-jerk who demanded his girlfriend choose him over her aging parents and exhausted siblings. Every time he thought of Ella and heard her desperate voice, his guilt reappeared.
“You okay?” Todd asked, and Blake looked up.
“Yeah,” he said.
“You forgot you weren’t alone.” Todd grinned at him and took an enormous bite of the ham and sausage pizza.
“Maybe,” Blake said with a half-smile. “I am used to being alone at night.”
His brother nodded as he chewed. After he swallowed, he asked, “Do you think things will balance out?”
“I sure hope so,” Blake said, getting up to put his plate in the dishwasher. “This summer has felt intense, hasn’t it?”
“It has,” Todd agreed. “I’m not sure why.”
“Gina’s…competitive.” Blake flipped on the faucet and looked out the window. The land spread before him, and the sight of all the green and then the blue above it soothed him. “I’m more intense when I’m with her. The cornhole with Sierra and Holly and Adam and Lowry—there’s a lot of tension there.”
“Then Jesse and Nash,” Todd said. “You can feel it when you walk inside the lodge.”
Blake turned back to him, leaning his back against the countertop. “That’s not good.”
“It’s fine,” Todd said. “I think the guests categorize it as excitement. Life.”
The ranch had always possessed this electric power of life, and Blake hadn’t had to work very hard to create that. Adam worked hard to provide authentic animal experiences for their guests, and Kyle outdid himself with every concert that got played at the Texas Longhorn Ranch.
The food coming out of the kitchen had never been better, and all of their activities filled every single day. Things were going so well at the lodge and ranch that Blake expected them to crash and burn at any moment now. He knew better than most that good things didn’t stay that way forever.
“You sure you’re okay?” Todd asked.
“Yeah,” Blake said. “I’m just tired. Another month, and school will start again. We’ll be less busy here. Maybe Gina won’t have to sit with her parents every night.”
“Have you asked if you can go sit with her?”
Blake gave his brother a hard stare. “No,” he said. “Even if I did, she’d tell me no. I don’t have time either.” Blake hated the concept of time. He wished it didn’t waste away as easily as it did, and he wished he could freeze it for the time it took him to drive to Chestnut Springs. If he could work during the drive, that might influence his decision to go or not.
“No, I know,” Todd said. “I was just wondering. I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong, Blake.”
“I feel like I am,” he said, the dam of emotions he’d been holding back by sheer will threatening to break through his strongholds.
“Tomorrow night, give me anything you don’t have done by five-thirty that has to be done, and go see her. Don’t ask her. Just show up and sit with her and her parents if that’s what you have to do.”
Blake considered the idea. “I could answer emails on my phone.”
“Yep,” Todd said, stretching to reach for another piece of pizza. “I can see your mind working.”
It was, yes. Blake didn’t like this walking-on-eggshells feeling. He didn’t want to have to ask permission to see Gina. He wanted to support her as she went through this trying time, and he did feel like he’d simply taken a step back.
