AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t know what to do,” she said, her voice pinching as her emotions finally overcame her.
She’d mowed the lawn a few times, and that had been terribly difficult for her. She was used to being on her feet, working all day, but pushing a mower through shin-high grass, emptying that bag, and seeing all the work the yard needed had been too much for her.
Last week, she and Ella had sat down with their parents and gone over their finances. They had enough money to hire a landscaping company to come take care of the yard, and Gina had made the calls, met with the manager, and gotten her parents on the schedule. With that burden eased, Gina had turned her attention to the house.
Namely, the kitchen.
Simply sitting around and listening to the same stories over and over drove her crazy. Ella had agreed to send over one of her kids every day after school, and together, Gina worked with them to get something cleaned up or repaired. She had enjoyed getting to know her niece and nephews better, and she took pride in knowing that she was helping her parents and Ella at the same time.
“You’re not a good daughter,” she said next, because she hadn’t even seen these needs until Ella had called Blake and told him how neglectful Gina had been. She hadn’t meant to be; she didn’t know how to deal with her mother’s health challenges, and she’d been running from hard things like that her whole life.
Just like she was running from Blake right now.
She hadn’t seen his text, but if she had, she’d have tried to get him not to come. Not because she was embarrassed of her parents. Not because she didn’t want or need his help. Not because she didn’t crave his presence in her life.
But because she didn’t deserve it. Her selfishness had been plaguing her for weeks, and she couldn’t find a way to move past it.
“Gina,” Blake called, and she spun back to him. He jogged through the thigh-high weeds, carrying an aluminum container that made her stomach roar. To add to her humiliation and unworthiness, she’d lied to him.
“Hey,” he said, panting as he approached. He wore anxiety in his expression, and Gina couldn’t handle making him feel that way.
She burst into tears, and Blake said, “Okay, come here.” She didn’t know what he did with the container, but he did take her into his strong arms and hold her close. He didn’t try to shush her or reassure her, but he simply let her cling to him and let all of her unhappiness come out of her body.
After a few minutes, he stroked her hair and said, “Talk to me, sweetheart.”
She released him, and he stepped away from her. He didn’t let go of her completely, and Gina liked that. “Why are you here?” she asked.
“I miss you,” he said. “I had no idea you were over here cleaning every night after the crazy days we have out at the lodge.” He wore a frown above his eyes, and he indicated the house somewhere behind them. “I would’ve come to help. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“I do though,” she insisted.
“Why?” He searched her face, and Gina didn’t like how heavy his eyes landed on hers. “Why are you punishing yourself like this?”
“Because,” she said, exhaling as a hiccup blipped through her chest. “Because I’ve never taken care of my parents. I’m literally the most selfish person alive, and I—I—” She didn’t know how to explain a lifetime of her inadequacies to him. “I need to help them.”
Blake dropped his hand from her arm. “That doesn’t mean you have to do it alone.”
“I feel like I do.”
“You’re not the most selfish person in the world.”
“I feel like I am.”
“Is Ella saying that?” he demanded. “Because that’s not true, Gina. It’s absolutely not.”
“Ella doesn’t need to say it,” Gina said, looking down at her feet. “It’s just true.” She looked up into Blake’s eyes. “I lied to you about dinner.”
“I know,” he said. “They’re all eating, Gina. They just said thank you and dug in.” He bent and picked up the aluminum container. “I brought you a sweet pork burrito.”
She took it from him, her smile threatening to break through the sadness on her face. “Thank you,” she whispered.
“I need you to tell me why you wanted to send me away,” he said.
Gina turned and spotted a rickety fence. She took a few steps and sat on the top rung of it. “Because,” she said with another heavy sigh.
Blake joined her and handed her a package of plastic silverware. “Because why?”
“Because I don’t want you to see how pathetic I am.”
