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His dark-as-pitch hair grew wild under that thing, and Gina wondered how long he’d been standing there. She hoped not long enough that he’d heard her call him “seriously hot.”
“Starla,” he said, shooting Gina a nervous look. “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Yes,” she said, her kitchen manager voice fully employed.
“I’m done with lunch,” Gina said, picking up her box and sliding to the ground. She looked at the full array of her food. “I mean, I’ll go eat somewhere else.” She flashed Jesse a smile as she went past him, but he only had eyes for Starla.
“Good luck,” Gina whispered under her breath when she knew Jesse wouldn’t hear her. She sincerely hoped he and Starla could work through whatever was keeping them apart.
She needed to do the same thing with her and Blake, and she took her lunch toward the barn where Todd kept his office. Maybe he’d have some ideas she could use, and Gina started wishing herself good luck too.
CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO
Jesse Stewart nodded to his left, indicating that Starla should start walking that way. She did, and he quickly fell into step beside her. He couldn’t believe he’d been so blind and so stupid. Him, one of only two of the Stewarts who’d been married before.
Honestly, his own inability to see a situation clearly was one of his major flaws, one he’d thought he’d gotten past enough to see his feelings for Starla clearly.
His feelings weren’t the problem. It was that Nash had feelings for her too, and Jesse had stomped all over them.
“Are you going to say anything?” she asked, her hands tucked neatly into the front pocket of her apron.
“Yes.” Jesse cleared his throat, still not sure what to say. He paused in the shade of a tree lining the drive that led back to the guest cabins. In the other direction, behind the new barns sat the family cabins, out of sight from anywhere in the lodge and concealed by plenty of trees from the road.
He lived back there, in a cabin with two bedrooms and two bathrooms. Adam lived down the hall from him, and they still kept their place clean with the aid of a chore chart. Mama was so proud.
He sighed out some of his frustration. “Starla, I don’t know what to do.”
“You can’t pick fights with Nash,” she said, “I know that much.”
“For the record,” Jesse said, his blood already heating. “He’s the one who goaded me. Ask anyone.”
She gave him a hard look that only made him like her more. “I’m not going to ask anyone. Iknowwhat happened. I was there.”
Then she knew, and Jesse hadn’t sought her out and taken her from Gina to argue about this again.
“I don’t know how to say this.” He moved around the tree trunk to the side in the grass. The view from here softened the world, something Jesse had often needed in his life.
“If you want to break-up—”
“I don’twantto,” he said, staring at the fields as they rolled along, getting broken up by trees and fences.
She leaned against the tree too, and her fingers tapped his. She linked her pinky finger in his, and said, “Just say it.”
He looked at her, because he could be mature enough to do that. “I really like you Starla. A lot. But there’s something inside me that won’t stop whispering.”
She nodded, but Jesse knew she didn’t understand. He barely did. “What does it say?”
“It says that maybe I should’ve been more careful. Maybe I should’ve asked questions before I bullied you into the walk-in and kissed you. Maybe I should’ve read the signs better.” He shook his head and jammed his hat back onto it.
Literally everyone in the Stewart family and who worked with Nash and Starla knew Nash had a crush on her. It sure did seem like the only person in the whole world who hadn’t known was Jesse, and he’d kicked his brother in the teeth unknowingly.
“He’s never asked me out,” Starla said, peering up at him despite his cowboy hat. “He still hasn’t, Jesse.” She pulled her fingers away from his and looked away. “You don’t want to break up with me, but you’re still saying you are.”
“I’m saying maybe it’s not the right time,” he said slowly, trying to measure out the words before he said them. “I think maybe…maybe you and Nash should see if there’s something better between the two of you.”
Starla scoffed, and Jesse understood that. “I’m not just going to run to him from you,” she said angrily. “The staff already talks about me unfavorably. Can you imagine?”
“They all know about this whole fiasco already,” he said, feeling his chest hollow out and go dead. “It won’t matter.” He’d felt like this after his divorce too. Like nothing mattered, including him. With the help of his brothers and sisters, a good therapist, and a more active role at the ranch, Jesse had made it through some harrowing times.
