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That was a beautiful possibility lost. “What would have been wrong withthat?”
“Let’s play this out. Do you think you would have the career you have now if everyone believed you slept your way to the top?”
I wanted to slap him. I wanted to slap him so much my palm tickled with the anticipation of contact, but I forced it to remain at my side. “I wouldn’t have done that,” I hissed.
“No. But that’s what they would have all believed. But if we had gone further?”
“What do you mean?”
“What if I had proposed, because I wanted to Carolina, I wanted to propose to you back then. I was going to at our celebration dinner, but it never happened.”
“You were going topropose?” I spoke gently, eerily gently, because the anger was swelling up in waves, and my breath kept getting caught in them.
“Yes. I was. But then I talked to the chief, and he opened my eyes. And he wasn’t wrong, Carolina. What do you think would have happened if I had gotten my stupid happily-ever-after?”
“Well, I guess we will never know, will we?” I started to look for my shoes. I had to get out of there but couldn’t remember where I’d kicked them off. Hector followed me around as I looked for them.
“Don’t be obtuse. Dr. Stuart didn’t point out anything I didn’t already know, but I wanted to pretend I didn’t. And you knew it too.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about, but this conversation is over.”
“No, it isn’t. Listen to me. If you had done me that honor and said yes, the honeymoon period would have ended so soon.”
“Great to know you had so little confidence in the possibility of us—”
“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. Carolina, would you be happy right now, if all your career you wondered if you achieved what you have achieved because you earned it, or because your husband was Hector Medina?”
I turned to face him again. “That’s what stopped you?”
“Mostly.” He cupped the back of his neck. He seemed calmer now, but sadder too. “The other part of it was Stuart’s leverage.”
“Yes, Hector, please tell me, what did he have over your head that was so important?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Yes. He was ready to sink your career if I didn’t keep my name on the paper—and he could have done it too. That’s why I had to wait to correct the authorship on our paper. I had to wait for him to be gone. I couldn’t do that to you. And I couldn’t stay and continue to have him use you like a pawn. I just couldn’t, Carolina. I had to remove myself from the picture. I needed you to know that anything you achieved was because of you—and in spite of me. I didn’t want anyone to ever think it wasbecauseof me.”
“So,youdecided.”
“Don’t you see? Everything I have done has been for you. I went to Heartland Metro for you, and I had to leave to protect you. I’ve stayed away for the same reason. Everything is always for you. You are my life, baby.” He moved closer to me, his eyes softer, trying to appease me.
“No.” I shook my head. “You chose. We lost nine years we could’ve had—”
“Let’s not lose any more—”
“No. Not whenyoudecide. You will never call the shots for me again, do you hear me?” I was shouting at him now, and I did my best to keep the tears pricking my eyes from escaping down my cheeks.
He looked at me like I had slapped him, even though I had the grace to resist. “You stole nine years from me and didn’t have the decency to tell me. How could you do it?”
“I did itforyou.”
I found my shoes and put them on then made my way toward the door. Hector hadn’t noticed when I had called the car, and I got the notification that it was waiting outside.
“Don’t walk out on me, Carolina. We aren’t over—not like this.”
“Everything has been up to you, Hector. It’s time to realize you are not my keeper,” I said and walked out of his house.
