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And when it comes down to it, I would hate to ask, but I know I can fly Mom up if I really need the extra help. If I do that, though, I’ll have to get a bigger apartment with two bedrooms. Though really, I need a house now that a baby is in the picture. I’d love for her to have stability and grow up in the same house.
The list running in my head of all the things I will need starts crashing on my shoulders, piling on that imaginary weight.
“Take a deep breath,” Ileana says and places a calming hand on my shoulder.
I smile at her. I dismiss Martín, Rubén, and Tracy for the night and keep chatting with Joe and Ileana.
Joe finally asks what he’d been dying to. “It’s—”
“Yep.”
“Does he know?”
I shake my head. “And he’s not going to know.”
“Sofia—” Joe starts to protest.
“No. He will never know. Now, we need to make plans—”
Ileana clears her throat. “Take it in strides. You have months to make plans. Don’t make it more difficult than it has to be.”
“I’m glad I know at least one mom who knows what she’s doing.”
Ileana laughs. “None of us know what we are doing. We just do our best, and you will too. Don’t forget to breathe and try to enjoy some of your time alone before the baby comes. It’ll be rare after that.”
“Thank you. Both of you. I’ll be leaning on you more than usual.”
Joe draws me into his arms. “That’s what we are here for.”
And it is that tight hug, in those massive Joe arms, that breaks me. I sob into his chest, for I don’t know how long until I feel Ileana’s hand rubbing circles on my back.
“He’s g-gone,” I say in a broken voice.
“I’m sorry,” Joe whispers and hugs me tighter.
“I loved him,” I say.
“I know, honey,” Ileana says. “I know.”
TWENTY-THREE
Bren
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Fritz hisses as I get backstage.
“Calm your tits,” I say. I’m only twenty minutes late. We’ve been delayed far worse before.
“You are lucky the opener has enough material to keep going.”
“You think the audience cares? They’re here to see us. They’ll wait as long as we want them to—”
Fritz’s teeth are grinding now. “You know that’s not how we treat our fans. We have an ethical code for a reason—”
“Okay, okay, won’t happen again.” What is up Fritz’s ass? We aren’t getting paid for this concert. It isn’t part of the tour. We only agreed to the charity concert as a publicity stunt Roger is making us do so that media outlets refocus on something other than Adrian for a change.
Fritz scratches his jaw. “Bren, you’re acting like fucking Adrian—”
“Hey!” Adrian protests. “Don’t bring me into it.”
