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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Iwoke to the comfortingsound of my dad’s deep rumbling voice outside my front door.
“Listen, Seff, she’s so freaking strong and not because shit doesn’t scare her, but ’cause it damn well does. The thing with Desarae is she will not stand around waiting for you to save her. She’s pretty damn dangerous all on her own, and she knows it.”
Dad, don’t.I jumped up from the futon, then stood ready to sprint for the door.
“I mean, why the hell she didn’t kick—”
“Albert,” my mom’s soft voice interrupted him, “When Desarae is ready to fill Seff in, she’ll explain the whys and what-fors.”
“Yeah, I know,” he conceded.
“Seff, we’re not saying our daughter isn’t afraid of anything,” my mom added. “We’re saying she’ll do it, anyway.”
There were a few more mumbled words before my parents walked away. As their footsteps passed along the wooden pathway, heading back toward their yurt, I followed their progress.
Instead of resting after Seff had left me, I’d warmed a kettle of water and washed my face and hair. I’d slipped into a plum-colored satin nightie and had planned to wait until Seff came back. I’d had so little sleep the night before, I had passed out minutes later on the futon wrapped up in a cozy afghan.
After a few deep breaths to calm my racing heart, I folded the afghan and tossed it over the arm of the futon. The fire in the woodburning stove needed stoking, so I shoved in enough logs to last until sunrise.
Whatever the group had planned seemed to weigh heavily on Seff. His emotions felt like an echo in my blood. A strange mix of determination and resignation. At the soft sound of the door opening, I crossed the room to greet mysakana.
Without a word, Seff’s arms came around me, his mouth on mine. He tasted of whiskey and desire and sadness. I slipped his denim jacket from his shoulders. It fell to the floor in a heap. His cold hands cupped my face, his fingers sliding around the back of my neck. Slowly, I tugged his thermal shirt from his jeans to touch his smooth skin. Though the hunger in him pulsed just below the surface, his kisses stayed soft and gentle. Hesitantly, I slipped my hands up his back, tracing the ridges and lines of every tight muscle.
I’d never touched Till unless he’d given me permission, which had been rare. And, after a while, I hadn’t wanted to touch him at all.
None of that matters now.
I sighed into Seff’s mouth and pulled him closer, pressing my breasts against his muscular torso. The hard length of his growing erection twitched against my belly. He took his lips from mine and gazed into my eyes.
He whispered, “Your scent changes every time he pops into your head.”
Embarrassed, I tried to look away.
“You can’t hide it from me, Des. You’re mysakana. Even if I didn’t catch it in your scent, I’d feel it in my blood.” He pressed a kiss to my temple. “I promise, I’m gonna work so damn hard to replace all those bad memories.” He lifted his head, inhaled deeply, then murmured, “They’re sleeping.”
I glanced up at the loft. “How can you tell?”
“Our scents are muted while we sleep. I think it’s a survival trait we must’ve developed from ancient times.”
The heated look in his dark eyes sent shivers through me in the best way. Everything about Seff Weylan made me feel like my old self—the female I had been before. Brave. Curious. Not just desired but needed. Wanted.
“So, what is this thing I’m scared of but will do, anyway?”
He tucked me into him, resting his chin on my head. “Nothin’ I wanna talk about right now.”
“Fine with me. I don’t want to talk either. I’m holding you to your promise of a make-out session.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and locked my legs around his waist. And, just as we had earlier in the day, we ended up in my bedroom with me seated on the edge of my bed and Seff standing between my legs. Though his kisses were tender, there was an underlying hunger not only in the way he held back but also in his trembling touch. Again, he traced my tattoo as though each lacy white scroll was a brand instead of white ink.
My heart raced when his lips left mine and moved down my neck, kissing and licking over my skin, following the trail his fingers had taken. He slipped the tiny strap of my nightgown over my shoulder and down my arm as he kissed the two intertwined hearts inked onto the upper swell of my breast. My entire body felt heavy, flushed, and warm. My nipples tightened, not from apprehension, but from anticipation.
Gods, I wanted to cry.
This male wouldneverharm me. I wasn’t sure he could cause me pain even if I wanted him to—even if Ineededit. Hurting a female wasn’t in his makeup.
