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Seff. It’s Seff.
Not...not...him.
Only Seff.Mysakana.
The tight band of panic around my heart and stomach loosened its grip as the scents all around me flooded back in—Seff’s rich pine forest mixed with my green apple, his freshly washed hair and skin, my down comforter, beeswax candles, wood-fire smoke, wool and fabric, and unfinished wooden yurt slats. Above it was the heady fragrance of sexual desire—Seff’s and mine.
I relaxed my arms and stretched out on my bed. A deep sigh shuddered through me. It seemed no matter how much I tried, parts of my past still triggered me—still caused mini panic attacks to paralyze me.
Just breathe through it. Count and breathe through it.
And I did.
After taking my moment, I rolled to my side and faced mysakana. At some point, while I’d slept, Seff had lit one of my bedside candles. The glowing golden flame reflected in his dark, sad eyes.
There was so much I should tell him.
“Oh, darlin’.” He traced a finger over my cheek. “Maybe we should have that hard conversation before—” His soft words cut off as his eyes drifted away. His nostrils flared slightly on his next breath. “Something’s happened.”
He drew a deep breath, threw the covers off, and rolled from the bed. I wasn’t sure what had raised gooseflesh on my skin—the cold air in my room or the strange sense of excitement that suddenly swept through me.
Seff’s eyes burned a trail of heat over my naked body. “Holy hell, Des.” He shook his head slightly. “You are so fucking gorgeous. I just wanna...” He closed his eyes and inhaled another long breath.
I looked him over, too, taking in every inch of him and the long, hard erection jetting out from between his muscular thighs. Gods, what he did to me with that big, beautifully masculine body made my mouth water, my heart race behind my ribs, and my flesh burn.
“Ijust wannayou, too.”
And...get past the stupid panic attacks.
In two steps, he was against me, hoisting me up from where I lay on the bed, flush against his hard chest. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held tight. He growled as his lips came down on mine. His tongue thrust deep into my mouth as if he wanted to devour me whole.
The rush of excitement I’d felt swiftly changed to something aggressive.
The aggression came straight from my brother.
Seff lifted his mouth from mine and stared into my eyes.
“Something is definitely goin’ on.”
“Yes.”
“I gotta check it out.” He kissed me one more time, then stepped back. “If you’re gonna wash up, you should probably do it now. I don’t think you’ll have much time after I get back.”
My bath lasted about five minutes, tops. I had my body and hair dried in the next five. Seff hadn’t returned. I kept thinking I should be racked with fear and anxiety over our upcoming hunt, but instead, Seff’s focus—determination—and faith in his own tracking ability overrode any fear I might’ve had.
It was quite an odd sensation tofeelanother wolf’s emotions, especially when the other wolf wasn’t my brother. Deck and I had always had a twin thing, but once I’d met Seff, my brother’s emotions had drifted to the background. He was still an annoyance, like a gnat floating in front of my face. I kept batting him away when he was bothersome and ignoring him the rest of the time.
During all my time with Tillman, I’d felt no emotion from him unless he was standing in the room. But really, he’d only given off a vibe. Lust. Frustration. Anger. Never love, friendship, or kindness. I’d gotten whiplash from his crazy mood swings.
Maybe I should’ve been afraid of him. Well, not in the sense that he might have hurt me physically. And even though I’d never told my parents, I had kicked his ass when he’d pushed too far. I hadn’t felt good about what I’d done. Knowing I could defend myself against him might’ve been why I’d put up with so much of his verbal abuse. I’d just never dreamed a broken heart would hurt so much.
Nevertheless, of all the blame Tillman had relentlessly heaped on me for our screwed-up relationship, my broken heart was all on me.
The slight vibration of silent footsteps traveling over the wooden walkway pulled me from the past. I wrapped a towel around my still-naked body and stepped out into the short passageway, where I had a straight view of the front door.
Seff.
Instead of coming in out of the cold, he stopped and stood at my front door. His warm scent seeped in through the weather-seals and wool sheeting lining the yurt. My mouth watered as I tasted his earthy fragrance on my tongue. I hadn’t known making love with someone who had such a deep connection to my wolf, my soul, my heart could be so amazing. I wanted to feel that touch, the shared bond, and love, every moment for the rest of my life. Mysakanastanding outside the door made being together a bit of a problem.
