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He could do anything with that information.
I couldn’t risk it.
“Baby, I—“ Crow started.
But I was already jerking backward as my arm went to the side to grab the handle and wrench the door open.
“Yep. Go pick up your friends,” I said, yanking my skirt down as I climbed off of him.
I didn’t bother to stop to button my top, just yanked the straps into place which made the bodice give me enough modesty.
“Pop the trunk,” I demanded, already walking back toward the trunk. I heard the pop before his feet hit the ground too. “I’ve got this,” I said. “Stay in the car,” I added, wincing when I was pretty sure my tone came out a little bit desperate.
“That’s not gonna happen,” Crow said, already behind me. Curse those damn long legs of his.
“Nope. See? Not necessary,” I insisted, loading my bags up on my arms, then reaching for the cart, grabbing it just before he did.
“What’s this?” Crow asked, and I could feel him looking down at me.
What was this?
It was self-preservation.
With a heaping dose of self-denial.
Because every part of me wanted to tell him to drive back over after he dropped off his drunk friends.
I couldn’t let that happen, though.
“What is what? I’m getting my bags so you can go,” I said, shrugging it off as I took a couple steps back, enough to get away from his scent—something woodsy and earthy that didn’t bother my sensitive sense of smell. But also far enough that he could slam the trunk door shut.
Not wanting to look meek or too affected by what just happened, my gaze lifted even as my chin did, looking him in the eye, finding confusion there.
“I’ll be fifteen minutes,” he said, the suggestion hanging heavy in the air between us. And, God, did I want to take him up on it.
But I couldn’t.
I had to be smart.
I had to protect myself.
There was no one else to do it for me.
“Fifteen minutes?” I asked, making my brows pinch together like I was confused.
“Before I can get back here,” he clarified, looking genuinely confused at my feigned bewilderment.
“Why would you need to come back here?” I asked, shaking my head a little.
“To…” he started, but then his gaze cut away, looking off into the darkness, taking in the lights of the town.
Whatever was going through his mind had him exhaling hard, something that made his spine stiffen. His head went to the side before he looked back at me, that darkness in his gaze that I’d always found myself oddly drawn to stronger than before.
Gone was the charm that he’d shown me for most of the night. The raw passion and need had disappeared as well.
In their place, though, was something else entirely.
A wild beast rattling its cage, testing its strength, wondering how long it would be before it could get free.
“No good reason,” he said, giving me a chin jerk, then turning to walk back to the SUV, climbing in, slamming the door a little too hard, and pulling off.
Did I stand there and watch the taillights disappear like some woman who’d just gotten dumped? Yep. I totally did.
Even if I knew that I’d been the one to reject him.
A deep exhale escaped me. Unlike with Crow, my spine seemed to shrink into itself, making my shoulders slump, and my bags feel ten times heavier than they’d been a moment before.
“Get it together,” I grumbled to myself as I turned back toward my house, stopping halfway up to the front door, frowning up at the place I’d called home for several years now.
Because I was almost sure I’d turned off all the lights inside before I left.
I didn’t like to leave lights on at night. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself.
If I was going through a spell of insomnia that meant I was awake at night a lot, I would put boards up on the windows before keeping the lights on.
It was just smart to be careful, you know? When your whole life and livelihood depended on it. And with that, your mental health.
But maybe I’d been careless.
It was possible.
I’d been so out of character the whole day leading up to heading out. Getting myself all dressed up and going into town late at night.
It could have slipped my mind.
Which was yet another reason I needed to get ahold of myself.
Moving inside, I moved around the house, putting up the window shields since I knew there was no way I was going to be getting any sleep with the way my mind was racing as I put away my goods, then sat down to eat another chocolate bar while I tried to force myself to focus on a book.
Finding that didn’t work, I climbed up the rickety ladder that led to my office loft, looking at my pottery supplies.
