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Out in the hallway, the air is cool, but I still feel like I’m burning up.
I’m going to pass out.
There’s no way I’m going to make it back to my room.
Despite my doubts, I do make it, though.
The moment my bedroom door is closed behind me and I’ve dumped my bag on the floor, I lean my back against the solid wood and shove my right hand down the front of my pants. My fingertips immediately find my slick, aching heat, and the world ignites.
They’re not my fingers.
In my mind, they’re Theo’s.
I rub tight circles over my clit, panting with frustration as the pressure builds between my legs.
Theo’s hands, rough on my skin.
Theo’s mouth, hot on my neck.
Theo’s teeth, gouging into my flesh.
Theo’s cock, pressing between my thighs, thrusting up violently inside me.
I cry out as I come, harder than I’ve ever come before.
The ground opens up beneath me, and I fall…
11
SORRELL
“You leftin a hurry last night. Were you sick?” Noelani finds me the next morning as I’m leavingRosewood. Concern is plastered across her face, and a wave of guilt rips through me. She’s been such a good friend to me these past few weeks. It sucks to know that she was so worried about me, while I was back in my room, trying to satisfy an itch that refused to be scratched.
Yes, I was sick last night. Depraved. Desperate. Making myself come, standing there with my back pressed against the door, had not been enough. Not even close. I’d made myself come another two times, replaying the sight of Theo jerking off in the seat next to me over and over again, until I felt like my body was going to come apart.
And then after came the anger. The humiliation. The disgust.
I don’t know who I am anymore—what kind of person I’m turning into—but I don’t like it. I nearly flayed myself alive this morning in the shower, the water so hot it scalded, trying to wash myself to a point where I didn’t feel dirty. I could shower a hundred times more and still not feel clean.
“Oh, I was fine,” I lie, looping my arm through Noelani’s. “I’ve just seen that movie a thousand times. I was bored.”
Lie, lie, lie. I’m getting remarkably good at it.
“I know, right?” Noelani says, laughing. “What do you want? WHAT. DO. YOU.WANT?”
I get the feeling that she’s reenacting a part of the movie that I clearly missed; I grin, laughing along with her, careful not to let my confusion show. “You were right about his beard, though. Ryan Gosling with facial hair should be illegal.”
She sighs dreamily. “Shame none of the guys here look like that. It’d be a nice distraction from the boredom of being stuck at this godforsaken Academy.”
I haven’t really paid much attention to the guys here at Toussaint. Only one of them has caught and held my attention, and I want him dead now more than ever.
“I thought you might have fallen out with Theo, though,” Noelani says. “First he dashes out, and then you right after. He told me he wanted to make friends with you. Bury the hatchet or something. I hope he didn’t do anything to upset you.”
“Oh no. He didn’t do anything.”Unless you count flirting with me, kissing me, touching me, making himself come and then using my bandana to clean up his mess, of course.
“Good. I’m glad. He can be pretty pigheaded when he wants to be. But he’s a good guy, y’know. There’s just been a lot going on here recently, I guess.”
This pulls me up short. “A lot going on? What do you mean?”
