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“What?”
“You’re surprised?”
“They hate me. And yet they never said anything?”
“They don’t hate you.” He sounds so sure of himself that I almost believe him. Almost.
“Come on, Theo. I’ve spent enough time around all three of them to know that isn’t true. They can’t stand the sight of me. Sebastian threw a can of fucking Coke at my head.”
“He did that ’cause he hatesmeright now, not you. You and Ashley used to be close once. Beth…” Theo blows out his cheeks, shaking his head. “You and Beth used to be thick as thieves. She confided some stuff in you years ago. Dark shit. Something about some guy called Lance? Ash told me you busted that shit out in the hallway when you got here this time around. Scared the crap out of Beth. Guess she figured you’d never remember…”
Damn. I did lay into her about fucking her father’s friend. About her dad watching her screw him on some cameras in her bedroom. That informationhadseemed to come to me out of the blue, but I’dknownin my head that I’d read it somewhere. That it was information Ruth had armed me with to help survive here. Now none of that is true. Beth confided that in me because we were friends once upon a time? God, this just gets more and more complicated…
“She was weird with you for a long time before the accident, though. She wanted…” He trails off, grimacing a little uncomfortably.
“She wantedyou. She was jealous.” I finish for him.
He shrugs, brushing it off. “Beth just wants what she can’t have. She couldn’t have me, and she resented you for it. She’s still kept her mouth shut and hasn’t told anyone else about the accident, though.”
“Why would she dothat?”
“Money.”
“You’repayingher to keep quiet?”
He just looks at me blankly. Slowly shakes his head. “Not me, Kid.”
“Then who?”
He stares down at his hands, cracking his knuckles one at a time. Doesn’t say a word.
I sit up straight, frustration tugging insistently at my nerves. “Let me guess. You can’t tell me that. Not yet. I’m not ready.”
Sighing, he lets his head fall back against the chair. “We’re already going way too fast here. You need time to wrap your head around this shit. We rush this and god knows what’ll happen. You’ll turn into Meredith, or Jennifer, or Natalie, and we’ll have to start all over again. I don’t want that.”
My eyes prick so painfully, it makes my throat ache. My emotions churn around in my chest like cement in a mixer. I can’t tell if I want to scream or cry or laugh at the absurdity of it all. “What difference does it even make? I can’t remember who I was before this shift. Who fucking cares if I shift again?”
He rockets out of the chair, dragging his hands back through his unkempt hair. “I fucking do! ’Cause when you woke up this time, you weren’t some made up creation. You didn’t give us some unfamiliar name. You woke up and said your name was Sorrell Voss. Your real name. You wereyou. Really you. All of you, not just pieces of you.Yourpersonality traits.Yourtemper.Yoursense of humor. Everything about you is you again, Sorrell. The only thing missing is your memory.”
I’m too stunned to speak. The anger and desperation in his voice has cut me down to the quick. He falls to his knees at the side of the bed, cupping my face in his hands, looking at me so deeply that I can feel his gaze reaching down into my fucking soul. “This is the closest I’ve come to getting you back. I’m not letting you go ever again. You just need to remembereverything, okay?”
It turns out that Seb, Ashley and Beth aren’t the only ones who know about my strange predicament. Noelani knows. Noelani, who is also Theo’ssister, which, just…my mind can’t even begin to comprehendthat. I told her that Ifuckedhim, for crying out loud. I didn’t go into great detail, but still…
Principal Ford is also in on this whole fiasco and has been since the very beginning. As soon as Theo tells me this, I demand to be taken to see the woman, determined on giving her a piece of my mind, but the moment Theo drops me off at her office and I plant myself down in the worn leather seat opposite her at her desk, I can’t find the right words to say.
We stare at each other.
After a ludicrous amount of time has passed, she clears her throat and leans back in her high-backed chair. The leather creaks. “I can see that you’re angry,” she says.
“I don’t think angry comes close to what I’m feeling.”
“And I understand that. I can understand how—”
“Oh, I’m gladyouunderstand. I’m gladyouhave such clarity right now, because I have to say…” I laugh bitterly. “Ireally don’t understand any of this. Yesterday, I woke up knowing myself. I knew exactly who I was. I knew that my best friend died, and I was so…so fucking angry, and I wanted to exact revenge on the person who caused her death. Today, I wake up to someone telling me that I’m someone entirely different. That…that he’s like my fuckingsoul mate—”
She bristles, folding her hands on her stomach.
“Oh, don’t get all bent out of shape about me cursing. I think I’m entitled to say fuck right now, don’t you?”
