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But a bigger part of it is because I want to show her that I’m not a total failure. And that I don’t want to keep arguing with her like we have been doing since that training day or go back to the way things were when we first met and lied to each other. I want to go back to the middle part, when we became friends on the verge of something more.
More than anything, I really want to find my way back to the days leading up to and then after her accident. To the hot tub and the morning I’d reluctantly crawled out of her bed.
Only now, she doesn’t want to know me.
“Come on,” I eventually say, risking another kiss to the top of her head. “Let me clean this up.”
I let go of her, my hand snaking down to grab hers as I lead her over to the mattress in front of the fire, where my backpack is.
“Sit,” I command, pointing to a spot in front of the stove. It barely lets out much light with the door open and I know tonight we’ll have to close it to conserve wood, which will make the cabin even darker.
Delaney sits cross legged on the mattress and I do the same opposite her, reaching over and pulling her closer to me so our knees are touching. She doesn’t say anything as she waits with her hands in her lap as I rifle through my backpack, looking for the first aid kit.
“It’s lucky you have that,” she eventually says, as I take out one of the alcohol swabs.
My eyes drop to hers and I see the small smile she gives me, an apology maybe for what she said earlier. “Yeah,” I say with a nod. “This is gonna sting.”
I lean closer, reaching over and cupping her jaw, gently turning her head to the side as I dab at the side of her head. I clean off the dried blood first, before gently swabbing at the cut. Delaney flinches when I do, and I try to move quickly and get it clean.
Once I’m done, I smear on some antiseptic cream and then cover the cut with a small Band-Aid, hoping it’s enough to stop it from getting infected. As it is, she’s probably going to have a killer bruise from it. I feel Delaney’s eyes on me the whole time, watching me work.
“All done,” I say, reluctantly dropping my hand as I sit back a little.
She nods once, giving me the tiniest of smiles as she tips her head toward my backpack and asks, “What else do you have in there?”
Smiling, I pull it into my lap as I look inside. “Not much,” I admit. “But here, close your eyes.” She narrows her brow at me, hitting me with a look that makes me laugh. “It’s nothing bad, I promise,” I tell her. “Come on, close ’em.”
She rolls them first before doing as I ask, and I reach inside. “Okay, open your mouth.”
Now she cracks one eye open, as she hits me with a hard look.
Chuckling, I shake my head at her. “Get your mind out of the gutter, Laney. Honestly.”
She smirks this time, before closing her eye again and opening her mouth. I quickly unwrap the chocolate bar, breaking off a piece before gently placing it in her mouth. She immediately groans, her eyes flying open as she closes her mouth and starts to chew.
“Oh my god, how much more of this do you have?”
Smiling, I tip the bag up onto the floor to reveal three more chocolate bars, two large bottles of water, another pair of gloves, a beanie and a giant bag of Twizzlers.
“Holy shit, Alex,” she says, her eyes wide as she takes in the haul. “Why the hell do you have all of this stuff.”
Smiling, I reach over and tip her face up to mine. “I try to make sure I’m prepared for a day on the slopes,” I tell her, hoping she reads between the lines here. “And…” I add, drawing the word out. “I expend a lot of energy looking this good out there, I gotta bring supplies.”
Delaney bursts out laughing now, slapping me on the chest as she shakes her head. “Of course you do,” she mutters, dropping her hand.
I catch it with mine, tugging her closer so she’s practically sitting in my lap as I wrap my arms around her again. “We’re gonna get through this, Laney, I promise,” I whisper, my lips pressing against her forehead, needing to believe my own words.
“Can I ask you something?” she whispers, her head now resting on my shoulder.
“Of course.”
“Why do you always call me Laney?”
Her question is so random and unexpected, that I can’t help but laugh, pulling back a little to look at her. “Seriously, that’s what you wanna ask me right now?”
She shrugs, before reaching for the open chocolate bar and breaking us both another piece. I open my mouth, waiting for her to feed it to me. She stares at me for a second or two before her gaze drops to my lips and she wordlessly puts it in my mouth.
“Curious,” she says, not looking at me as she eats her piece of chocolate.
