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“So, no significant other waiting for you back home to help out?” she asks.
I turn to look at her and she meets my stare for a few seconds before looking away, suddenly embarrassed at how personal this conversation has gotten.
I grin even though she isn’t looking at me. “No, Lulu, no one waiting back at home for me,” I say, knowing just how true that is. “What about you?” I add, nudging her foot again. “Seeing anyone?”
I watch as she takes a deep breath as though contemplating whether she can continue the unspoken charade of Oscar and Oliva being her kids. Clearly she realizes she can’t and I watch as she turns to face me, a strange look on her face as she says, “Nope, no one special.”
My heart lurches at the look in her eyes, the sadness that now fills them. “Lu,” I say gently, half sitting up.
But she shakes her head and looks away. “So,” she says, taking a large sip of wine. “How long do you think it’s going to take to fix the crusher?”
I focus on her, watch as she fights to regain her composure, hide the hurt I know I just saw. Wanting to lighten the situation, I say, “Don’t tell me you’re trying to get rid of me already?”
A half smile tugs at her mouth. “Well,” she says, shooting me a sideways glance.
I grin. “Come on,” I tease. “Admit you like having me here again,” I say, nudging her foot once more. “Admit you’ve missed me all these years.”
She rolls her eyes now, muttering something under her breath as she takes another sip of wine. She doesn’t move her foot this time though and I chalk it up to a small win that she lets me keep resting mine against hers.
The heat is back again too and it’s making my fingers itch. It’s surprising how much being this close to her is affecting me. Despite wanting to see her, eager to know how she is after all this time, I hadn’t expected it to have such a big impact. Especially considering everything I was running away from in Oz.
We sip our wine in silence now, me topping our glasses up once more until eventually the bottle is empty. It feels peaceful and relaxing sharing this moment and this wine with her. And a million miles away from all of the fucked up drama I was dealing with back home.
And even though this country is so different to Australia, a part of me can’t help but feel at home here. I don’t know if it’s because of the nearly two months I spent here as a kid or because of Lulu and the way I feel drawn to her, even after all these years apart.
Either way I’m glad I’d taken the job. Even more glad that I get to work with and see Lulu every day as a result.
“Well,” Lu finally says, draining her glass and standing. “I should let you get some sleep.”
Immediately, I want to ask her to stay, my hand practically reaching for her as though I can somehow make it happen. Swallowing, I stand and face her, our eyes meeting in the darkness.
Lulu blinks at me and I don’t know what it is, but I feel myself taking a step toward her, my hand reaching for her, my fingers circling her wrist as my thumb brushes against the soft skin on the inside.
Inside my chest, my heart is going double time, the noise so loud I swear she can hear it.
“Lulu,” I whisper, her eyes widening as I take another step closer, our bodies only inches apart now.
The space between us feels charged with electricity, the attraction intense, as though everything I felt for her as a kid has only been magnified by all the time we’ve spent apart.
I’m suddenly overcome by want, by an urge to pull her against me, wrap my arms around her and kiss her hard, convince her not to go but to come inside with me instead.
But as though she can read my mind, she suddenly blinks, pulls her arm from my grip and says, “Goodnight, Jack,” her voice strange in the silence of this moment.
I watch as she walks down the back steps and over to her house, going in through the unlocked back door, not once looking back.
Shoving a rough hand through my hair, I finish off my wine as I attempt to get myself back in control. Whatever that was just then, I have no idea how to explain it, I only know she felt it too.
When I head back inside, I notice the packet of Tim Tams she obviously chose are still sitting on the kitchen table. Knowing this is likely a really bad idea, one that could get me yelled at, or worse still, fired, I pick up the packet and walk back outside.
Over at her house, I watch as the kitchen light switches off and is replaced by a light in what I assume is her bedroom. Without stopping to think, I walk quickly down the back steps, cross over to her yard and go quietly inside the back door, holding my breath in case she hears me.
I wait a second for my eyes to adjust and then before I can question what the fuck I’m doing, I walk through the mudroom to her kitchen, where I leave the packet of biscuits on the island and quickly walk back out.
The next morning, I wake early, my jetlagged body still struggling to adjust to the million time zones I’ve crossed to be here. Despite the wine and my exhaustion, it had taken me a long time to fall asleep last night, my mind whirling with confused thoughts over that moment on the back deck just before Lu left.
I still wasn’t entirely sure what had come over me, nor was I sure what I was supposed to do about it either.
Shaking my head, I drag myself from bed and into a cold shower, before quickly dressing and walking out on to the back deck with a cup of coffee.
