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“So, the parts arrived today.”
“What?” she asks, pausing with a slice of pizza halfway to her mouth.
I swallow. “The last of the parts arrived today,” I repeat, pulling the invoice from my back pocket.
Lu lowers her pizza to her plate. “Oh,” is all she says, her eyes falling to the sheet of paper in my hands. She doesn’t take it though and eventually I set it to the side. “So how long do you think it’s going to take you to finish fixing it?”
I shrug, pulling off a piece of bread and putting it my mouth. “Couple of weeks,” I say, chewing what now feels like a hard lump in my throat. “Couple more to make sure it’s all okay.”
Lu nods. “So, a month then.”
She’s still not looking at me, her hands in her lap now as her eyes stare at the invoice on the table.
“Lu,” I say quietly. “Look at me. Please.”
She finally lifts her head, her eyes meeting mine. Even in the low light of the setting sun, I can still see they are filled with tears.
“Babe,” I say, reaching for her. She doesn’t move though, doesn’t lift her hand to meet mine like she’d automatically do every other time. “Lulu,” I say. “Come here, please.”
She stares at me for a few seconds before eventually standing, walking around to my side of the table and letting me pull her onto my lap. I press a kiss to her temple as I wrap my arms around her, pulling her close.
“This doesn’t mean the end,” I whisper, my mouth against her skin.
Her fingers knot together in her lap, her knuckles white. “But it does mean you’re leaving,” she says, and I can hear the sadness in her voice.
I press another kiss to her before gently turning her so she’s facing me. “But not leaving you,” I tell her. “I’m not leaving you.”
A tear falls down her cheek now and it breaks my heart seeing her like this. I reach up, brushing it away with my thumb as she says, “But how are we going to make this work, Jack. We’ve spent every night together since this started and now what? You go back to Oz and I stay here and we spend every night apart until one of us can find a way to visit the other?” She stops, swallows hard before continuing. “That’s not a relationship, that’s not…” she pauses, swiping angrily at her eyes before meeting mine. “It’s never going to work and I’m not sure either of us can make it work, regardless of how much we might want to.”
I lean in and kiss her lips, silencing any more of her words. She whimpers at the touch, her body leaning into mine despite everything she’s just said. I feel her fingers tighten in my shirt, my own arms as they tighten around her, both of us clinging to each other as though we can’t bear the thought of ever letting go.
Eventually I pull back, knowing I owe her some sort of explanation, even if it’s nowhere near to a solution.
“What if I said I was trying to come up with a plan?” I say, brushing the hair back from her face.
“What?” she asks, eyes searching mine.
“It’s early days,” I admit. “And nothing is sorted or set in stone, but I’m trying, okay?” I tell her. “Can you trust me that I’m trying, believe that I want this with you?”
Lu nods, even as a thousand questions flash across her face.
As much as I want to tell her what I’m doing, I know it’s far too early and everything is still way too uncertain that I don’t want to risk getting her hopes up, only to crush them when everything falls through.
“Do you trust me?” I ask, my words low.
“I trust you,” she eventually says, biting her bottom lip.
I smile, lean in and brush my lips against hers. “And do you believe me?” I ask. “Believe that I want this, want you?”
Lu nods, her lips still pressed against mine as she murmurs, “Yes,” before deepening the kiss.
And I kiss her back now, desperately, both of us seemingly overcome with some sort of urgency, as though we’re hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. Dinner is all but forgotten as Lu’s hands slip under my shirt, mine doing the same, relishing the smooth warmth of her skin.
But despite the desire that now takes over, nagging at the back of my mind is the other secret I’m keeping from Lu. The one that has the power to destroy everything I’m trying so desperately to protect, to save.
Mel.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
