AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“You can tell me, you know. You can talk to me.”
It’s quiet for a few minutes, and just when I think she’s falling asleep again, her voice fills the quiet room. “A phoenix rises from the ashes. It’s a symbol of strength.”
“So, what’s wrong with that?”
“I’m not strong.”
Ah, there’s the truth.“Most strong people don’t actually feel like they’re strong. Doesn’t make it any less true.”
“Trust me, I’m not. I don’t know what my father was thinking when he picked this name. It’s just a constant reminder of how un-phoenixlike I am.”
I roll onto my side to face her. “That’s not what I see.”
She peeks at me from under the ice pack. “And what do you see?”
“I see someone who’s still here. Someone who makes the choice to wake up and live every single morning. You’re working on the house to make it better. You run to keep yourself healthy. You want to learn new things, like how to cook. You help people, and you help animals. Regardless of what you’ve been through, you’re still standing. That seems pretty damn strong to me.”
Her eyes glisten as she blinks up at the ceiling, her chest heaving with shallow breaths.
Is this what she thinks about when she’s alone in her room?
I lower my voice to a whisper. “Why do you cry every night?”
She turns her head and sets her questioning gaze on me.
“What’s making you so sad, Phoenix?”
Her bottom lip trembles. “Do you ever wish you were someone else? Like not anybody specific, but that you could be… different. A better version of yourself.”
My chest aches. “I’ve felt like that before.”
“When?”
“When my mom died.”
Phoenix sets down the ice pack and winces as she shifts onto her side to face me.
We’re so close, I can feel her warm breath against my lips when she says, “I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else.”
Heat crawls over my skin, a mixture of calm and comfort, seeping into my pores and settling deep into my bones. “You want to know what I think? I think you call yourself Nix because you don’t accept the power in your name. You don’t think you deserve it. And I can’t for the life of me figure out why.” I press my index finger into her chest. “You don’t recognize the strength you possess. But I see it. It’s who you are. Your soul is a phoenix, whether you believe it or not. And one day, you’re going to burn your demons to the ground and rise above it all.” Tears stream down her cheeks, and I thumb them away as they fall. “If you want to be a better version of yourself, then be it. Nothing wrong with that. But maybe you already are the best version of yourself, and you just don’t see it yet.”
A quiet sob racks her body, and we lie like this in silence until her lids close. I let her drift off to sleep, but right before she’s out cold, she whispers one more thing into the darkness.
“I’m glad you broke into my house that night, James.”
I smile and press my lips to her forehead.
So am I.
10
Phoenix
Daily Affirmation: I am continuously working on myself and my inner peace.
An axe splittingthrough my skull wakes me out of a dead sleep.
I groan, clutching my forehead as I push to sit up.
