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9
Trey
I've been layingin this bed for hours. Not able to go back to sleep and not able to get up after what Sabine just gave to me. I'm not used to having a woman in control. It was more than just refreshing, it was sexy as fuck. The way she bared herself to me in those moments let me know what I think I've been trying to lie to myself about for the longest. This was more than just a superficial relationship. Sabine was truly starting to feel things for me. Things I shouldn't be allowing her to feel.
What I'm doing to her is by far the most dick move I've ever done in my life. She's about to be caught in the middle of an entire DEA sting simply because of who her family is and because she’s messing around with one of the lead officers on the case. If I had any fucking righteous bones in my body, I'd let her go. I'd tell her that I could no longer continue the relationship that I have going on with her, but I can't. I didn't expect to feel so deeply for her so fast. I hate myself for betraying her. I hate that I allowed myself to be the one that's going to hurt her again, No matter what will go down regarding the operation, it's going to bring her some pain. Even if I bring Dimitri down tomorrow, she'll have to know that I had something to do with it.
I'm being selfish, and I know it, but I can't stop. I don't want to be anywhere else. I don't want to be with anyone else.
She turns towards me in her sleep and cuddles up closer to my chest, and my heart skips a beat. At least that's what it feels like. It feels like I'm fucking falling in love with this woman.
When she finds out who I am I don't see anyway that she'd want to stay with me, not after using her this much.
If I could lay here forever and never let her go I would, but almost as if the cosmos knew I was thinking about just letting my responsibilities fall to the wayside so I can be with Sabine, my phone begins to buzz in my pocket on the floor.
I disengage my arm from around her and quietly reach for my pants. Using only the tips of my fingers, I pull over the clothing until I can get to my pocket and I pull out the phone. On the screen, I see that I have two miss calls and about five new text messages. It's not abnormal for Marcel to check in. What's abnormal is that I don't answer. I've been here overnight and missed the meeting that I was supposed to have with him this morning. I'm surprised I don't have any messages from Dimitri as well, though I'm assuming he's out with his wife spending time in happy newlywed bliss.
I quickly open up the messaging app and shoot him a reply text letting him know that I'm alright but can't come in this morning. I tell him that I will be there in a few hours.
Of course, he replies with the usual questions to make sure that I'm not in distress. I could tell him that I am, but it's not the distress that he's thinking about. Right now, my point of distress is laying peacefully in the bed behind me. I drop the phone back onto my pants and turn back to Sabine where I can pull her back into my arms. She' curls back into my chest like she was made to be there. I can't leave her, even if I know I should. Somehow I need to find a way to get the information I need to bring down Dimitri but still be able to keep Sabine in my life. Most importantly, I need to find away to not hurt her.
I lay back down and close my eyes, hoping that maybe I can get a few more hours sleep. I'm wiped out from the out of this world sex we had this morning. Even forcing my eyes to stay shut I have no luck going back to sleep.
After laying there for another two hours, Sabine wakes up to a growling stomach, it's no longer morning and the both of us missed breakfast.
"How about some lunch?" I ask her and she gives me a bright smile.
"You know just how to make me happy, don't you." She scrunches her nose cutely, and I run my finger down the smooth slope of it.
"I try." I get up from the bed, pull my boxers and jeans on, before I walk over to her kitchen. I pull out some eggs and the ingredients that I need to make pancakes, and she comes in to watch me cook for her.
I hear the loud dinging alarm from my phone, indicating that someone is trying to FaceTime me. I know it's Marcel. He's going to want to know why I'm not coming in like I should. He'll see that I'm not at the facility, and it's going to cause a slew of problems, so I just ignore it.
I don't want to leave her, but I have to soon. The other side of my life requires attention and if I don't do what I have to do then this relationship that I have with Sabine is going to come out much sooner than I want it to.
"Who's that?" Sabine asks from behind me.
I stay with my back turned to her and think over what I'm going to say before I say it. "Work. I was supposed to go to a meeting this morning, but I missed it. I told him that I'd be in later. I'm assuming later means now to him." I do my best to make light of the situation, but she doesn't laugh. When I turn around, I expect to see her normal expression. Instead, her eyebrows are furrowed, and she looks at me like she's going to start asking me questions. I hope she doesn't because I just don't have the heart to lie to her anymore. Not today.
I flip the pancakes and remove the eggs from the fire, so they can cook the last bit of the way.
"Trey, I need you to be honest with me." Sabine says from behind me.
"Yeah?" I turn and look at her. Internally begging that she doesn't ask me something that I have to lie abut.
"You're not married or something like that, are you?"
I laugh slightly and move closer to her, so I can pull her to my body, "No babe, I'm not married. I promise you there is no other woman in my life besides you. I've got more than enough right here."
She gives me a tentative smile and I wipe my pancake powder laced finger down her face, leaving a streak of white mess down her skin.
"Oh you bastard!" She says before she sticks her hand against the nearly empty pancake batter bowl and tries to mush my face with it.
"No you don't!" I grab hold of her hands and the two of us play around having a small food fight right there in the kitchen while I burn the pancakes that I was supposed to be making for her lunch.
My phone alarm sounds again, but I completely ignore it. How am I supposed to give up this kind of happiness, for someone like Dimitri. Sure, getting him and the cartel off the street will be a great accomplishment for me, but finding a woman like Sabine isn't something that comes around more than once in a lifetime. I can't give her up. Not yet.
