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“I said shut up, or I’m going to find someone else to fuck.” He swore. A part of my heart broke inside of my chest in a way that I’d never experienced before. It felt like a physical part of me broke, even as I stood still and knew I was still intact.
Sarah’s eyes opened and her drunk and bleary eyes focused on me over his shoulder and a sinister smile pulled her lips back while my boyfriend of over a decade railed her into the wall. “Come deep inside of me baby. You know how I like it.” She purred into his ear, and he grunted. I watched in horror as he did just that. His hips jerked wildly for a few seconds before he stilled and rested his forehead against the wall while he caught his breath.
He stepped back and dropped Sarah to the ground on her own feet, in a cold uncaring way that was so uncharacteristic of him. When he pulled up his shorts and buttoned them, he saw that she still stared past him with that sick smile on her face and he turned to look over his shoulder towards the door.
The second his blue eyes locked on mine I knew I’d never be the same.
Seeing the person you love more than your own life, destroy your heart so carelessly, just did something to your soul. The pain was no longer physical, because it ran deeper than that.
“Cora.” He whispered, taking a step towards me but I shook my head as more tears fell over my lashes.
“Don’t.” I said back to him.
The pain on his face resembled the look he’d given to me as we listened to his father tell us that his brother Luke had been killed in that crash. It had destroyed him that night and I recognized his pain now, because I felt that it in my own heart.
“Well it’s about time she found out.” Sarah said with a level of sneer I’d only ever seen her aim at her enemies.
“Shut the fuck up.” Mav commanded and stepped towards me again.
I turned and slowly walked from the room and towards the stairs, as my world began crumbling around me. I didn’t run, because I knew he’d chase me and it’d make a scene, which was the last thing his family needed right now. I felt him following me as I left the party, silent but close behind me, like he always did when he was protecting me from drunk losers at raging parties like this one.
But I had never expected to need protection from him before.
People called out to us as we walked out the front door, but we ignored everyone. I took my keys from my pocket and headed down the sidewalk towards my car.
“Please just wait.” He said, putting his hand on my arm.
I ripped my arm away from him and the burn his skin left on me as I stopped walking. “Please don’t touch me.” I begged, on the edge of losing it.
“I’m so sorry Cora.” His sad eyes tried to get me to look at him, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to remember him like this.
“Can I go now?” I asked, bringing my knuckles to my lips to keep from crying out in agony.
“Just let me explain. Let me make it better baby. I’m so sorry. She doesn’t mean anything; it was just a mistake.”
“I don’t want to know anything more Mav.” I said, shaking my head and backing up further, “Please just let me go.”
“Let me drive you home. I need to be with you right now. Please.” He begged in a gutted voice that finally brought my eyes to his.
I shook my head. “You could have been with me earlier Maverick! But you lied and said you wanted to be alone but that was all just a lie of a selfish cheater so he could get what he really wanted, which wasn’t me. I don’t want to know anything else. I don’t want to hear another word about what you’ve done or with who. What I already know is too much, I won’t survive anymore.”
His eyes were wild as he frantically tried to reason with me. It was the first time I’d seen any real emotion in his eyes in months, and it destroyed me. “Okay. Then I won’t talk but let me be near you! Let me drive you home, you’re too upset to drive. I’ll stay with you; I’ll sleep on the floor and then tomorrow maybe we can talk, and I can apologize. I can fix this if you let me. I’ll never even look at anyone else, I don’t even know why I did this. It’s always only been you that I see, I’m sorry I deceived you Cora, you know how fucked up I am right now! I’m just fucked!”
“I’m done Mav.” I whispered and took another step back. Pain wracked my chest, and I placed my palm flat to my sternum, trying to sooth the ache there. I was so close to losing it all right here, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t let anyone see me break. Valentine’s didn’t break in public.
“No!” He barked out, stepping towards me, and pulling me into his chest. “No, don’t say that! I’ve been fucked in the head, and I’m spiraling and I’m sorry. You deserve so much better than this, I know that. I just didn’t know how to cope, and I fucked up! Please help me, Cora. I need your help.”
“I can’t.” I whispered as I shook my head. “I’ve given myself to you for ten years and in the last two months I’ve watched you destroy yourself and now you’ve destroyed us. And I can’t stick around for anymore, or you’ll destroy me too. I have to walk away while I still can.”
“Please baby.” He begged, leaning down and resting his forehead on mine.
I pushed him away, smelling her on his skin as a sob ripped from my chest. “I love you Maverick. But I have to find a way to love myself more.”
“I love you more than myself Cora! I see that now, please just give me a chance. I did this because I was trying to protect you from me! From this pain! Ten years has to mean something to you, it has to prove to you that I’m worth a second chance.”
“Protect me?” I yelled, “I don’t want to ever feel like this ever again Maverick.” Tears poured down my face freely as I shook my head back and forth, clutching my keys like a lifeline. “And if I stay you’ll do it to me again. I know this wasn’t the first time you’ve done it and I’m sure she’s not the only one you’ve done it with either. I can’t compete with them because you and I are no longer on level ground. I’ve only been with you. You were supposed to be my only.”
