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“You and me. We agreed it wouldn’t get physical.”
Colour flooded her face and in the bright light, he could see shadows of freckles past. He resisted the temptation to taste them. Find out if they were sweet like brown sugar. “If I recall correctly, you said you weren’t interested, and I said I was up for it if you changed your mind.”
She waved a hand dismissively. “Well, we reached an understanding.”
The colour was fading and he studied her face, traced the shadows under her eyes. “What changed your mind?”
“It’s been four years and it’s not like we parted on good terms. You were angry I wouldn’t come to Nashville and I said some harsh things too. Besides, lots of things have changed. We have entirely different lives.”
There was something he couldn’t understand. “We always lived entirely different lives, once I left here. Why did you sleep with me then, but won’t now?”
Her dark lashes fluttered. On another woman he would have read it as flirtation; with Bonnie, it was nerves.
“I…” Dark streaks of rich colour highlighted her cheekbones. “I don’t know. Back then, it seemed right. You wanted fun while you were home, visiting your grandparents. I wasn’t averse to a little fun either. We didn’t have anyone else.” She looked down at her hands. “At least, I didn’t. You said you weren’t dating.”
“I wasn’t. Sydney was hectic. Trying to do school and break into the music industry took all our energy. We celebrated leaving school by releasing our first album. We didn’t have time to pee, never mind chase girls.” He smiled at an old memory. “Except for Tinker. He somehow managed to hook up with half of Sydney, but I don’t think he ended up graduating.”
She echoed his smile, a little wry, knowing how it all ended. “I guess something had to give.”
He still didn’t feel like she’d answered his question. “You wouldn’t sleep with me before I left. I was pretty much gone for two years and the first time I come home, we fell into bed together. What changed back then?”
“We were kids before you went away, Xander. I was barely sixteen. I wasn’t ready for sex, even with you. Nan would have had my guts for garters if she found out I was fornicating. Her words.”
He could almost hear the old harridan saying them. Oh, she loved her granddaughter, but she wasn’t going to let Bonnie fall into the kind of behaviour she deplored. Blunt as a timber two-by-four and sharp as a whip. Belatedly, he’d appreciated Flo’s easier way of doing things. She could have gone the other way, remembering how her daughter had strayed from the straight and narrow. Perhaps his frailty when he’d come to live with them had softened her. He’d been in no condition for a harsh regime. He’d suffered under one for too long.
Chapter Eight
Bonnie placed theBubble Wrap back in the box, holding onto the album. If she was going to be here for the next six months, she could keep it in her room. It was easier doing the small task than returning Xander’s curious gaze. He wanted to know too much and she had too much to hide. Her teenage crush had grown into love somewhere along the way, but when he’d turned his life around, losing weight and suddenly becoming some kind of teen idol, she’d known he would never look at her seriously. By the time the band had leapt onto the world stage, she’d resigned herself to watching him from a distance.
Sure, he’d begged her to come to Sydney even before they’d slept together. It hadn’t been possible, not with Nan’s health starting to fail and Bonnie picking up the slack in her job at the Highland Inn. Even then she’d known it wasn’t love on his part. She was part of his security, part of his family. When he’d come home for an extended visit before their first world tour to follow up on their album going platinum, falling into bed with him seemed logical. The motivation was purely selfish, grabbing at her own piece of him. She hadn’t expected him to keep coming back over the next three years. Three or four times a year at least. Like one of those romantic movies that usually ended tragically the moment you think the lovers might finally get a happy ending together.
Xander pushed the box away once she’d closed it. “You didn’t answer the question. We always had fun. I don’t see why you don’t want us to continue. Are you sure there isn’t someone else?”
She could lie, but it would be pointless. There’d been one guy in Canada she’d thought she might at least try a friends-with-benefits thing with, once it was clear Xander had cut all ties. He was a young and very good-looking ski instructor and a total fitness freak. She’d discovered the hard way that the fitness thing included a horror of illness that had him running a mile when he’d realised she was diabetic. He’d gone back to popping ski bunnies and, after the initial humiliation passed, she’d breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn’t tried again.
“It’s not about whether there’s anyone else. There isn’t.” There was one way she could shut him down. “I need more from a relationship than occasional hot sex and then not seeing them for months on end.”
“We emailed.”
She waited until the rest of her statement kicked in.
His brows drew together, forming a little crease above his nose. “But I’ve told you I plan on something long term. I’m not going to be travelling now. Only occasional trips for the business side of things and charity work.”
“I don’t think you have any idea what a relationship involves. You think it’s going to be all fun.”
“Why not? We always have fun together.”
“In bed. The rest of the time it’s more like happy families with your grandparents.”
His eyes brightened. “You want to spend more time together?”
“Not if your whole aim is to get me into bed.”
The smile beamed out like a searchlight tracking down her weakness. “It could be a side effect.” He sobered when he realised she wasn’t returning his smile. “Okay, what do I need to do to convince you we can be fun outside of bed?”
“Spend time with me doing usual things around the inn. You need to learn what’s required, anyway, if you’re going to help out while they’re away.”
“I thought I already did.”
