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“How are you, Diana?” he asked, and I shook my head and looked away.
“Answer me. Will you meet with Colin?”
“I’ll answer when you do,” he rebutted, his eyes narrowed. “How are you?”
“How do you think I’ve been?” I replied with my hands clasped behind my back, my nails digging into my palm. “Do I look particularly great to you, Alpha Kaleem? I’ve been without a territory for years andon the run, so how do you think I am?”
I could add that my dad and I were the pariahs among my outcast pack, so we had it twice as hard. But that would open a conversation I didn’t want to have. I didn’t want Kaleem’s sympathy, just an answer so I could leave.
When he didn’t reply, I saw that my words had stung. Maybe coming to this fountain was a bad idea. I’d known where he was taking me, the history we had between us in this place, and I shouldn’t have come.
I should have gotten my answer right there on the side of the road and left. But my legs had taken me towards his car, and I’d climbed in before I knew what was happening.
“And I haven’t been Diana in a very long time,” I added with a growl. “My name is Ila.”
“You’ll always be Diana to me,” he grumbled while turning away, his hand raised to his face, and I watched as his back muscles shifted beneath his shirt.
He was a mountain… he’d once been my mountain of warmth and kindness. He’d once been everything to me. Now, this void in my soul where a part of him once occupied was growing bigger.
He used to look at me with such adoration, and now, all I saw in his eyes were pity and regret, and it was pissing me off. I wasn’t here to face my feelings or past. I was here to deliver a message, get an answer and be hopeful that he agrees to give my pack another chance.
Then befriendly, a voice echoed in my head, and I gritted my teeth.
I was doing this not for myself but for my pack, for my dad, and while I wasn’t an alpha, I’d take a page from Kaleem’s book and do what I needed to for my people, even if it was the wrong thing for me.
“It hasn’t been easy,” I said more softly, and Kaleem’s head turned to the side to look at me over his shoulder. “We’ve been getting by, but we want to return home.”
“And Colin?” he asked while turning to face me. “Is he the same man that attacked my pack?”
Worse, that was what I wanted to say but didn’t.
“What he is, is a man that’s learned his lesson,” I answered. “He wouldn’t be foolish enough to try anything, when you were a young alpha back then and kicked his ass.”
“So, that’s a yes,” Kaleem said with a smile, and I held my breath.
His eyes had glowed for a second, those beautiful grey eyes, and I quickly looked away.
“Diana,” he said softly, and I stepped back when he stepped forward.
“Don’t,” I growled. “Give me an answer so I can leave, Kaleem.”
“I’m sorry for what happened between us,” he said nonetheless, and I bit down on my lip. “How things were left between us, it never should have happened like that. It shouldn’t have happened at all. I know you don’t want to talk about this, that’s clear, but I’m sorry for rejecting you. I truly am.”
“Stop,” I mumbled while staring at the ground, my wolf screaming in my head at this point. “Just stop. None of that matters anymore.”
“It matters to me,” Kaleem rebutted. “I know it matters to you despite what you’re saying.”
“You don’t know me!” I growled, and this time I held his stare. “Don’t think for a second you know me. You never did. We met and knew each other for two weeks, Kaleem. You have no idea who I am because you never gave us…”
My words trailed off, and I turned and walked away. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want to feel the things I was feeling right now, the pain and longing. I only wanted the rage because it hurt less. But I was also tired of being this person, relying on hatred to feel better when it wasn’t healing me, just prolonging my suffering.
“You know what,” I turned to face him. “You don’t get to look so hurt when you rejected me! You looked me in the eye and rejected me.”
“You chose your pack!” he rebutted, and I threw my hands in the air and laughed. “I gave you a choice, me or Colin, that would sooner harm you than help or protect you. I would have taken care of you, protected you. You would have been welcomed into my pack as my mate!” Now his eyes were burning as bright as the sun. “You would have become my Luna!”
He flicked his finger at his nose with frustration while looking around the forest. “You should have trusted me, Diana. We wouldn’t be here now.”
I said nothing, my jaws clenching so tightly my teeth felt like they’d shatter. Now wasn’t the time for this. He did what he felt was right, and I did the same, even if he couldn’t see that.
