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A wolf from a pack labeled a nuisance was like a convict trying to find a job.
Alpha Colin was aware that the nineteen remaining members of his pack had nowhere to go, which left us to live under his harsh rule. We had to abide by his rules or suffer dire consequences. He ruled with fear, not love, and ordered us to not mingle with locals, never speak about our past, and that all earnings made were to be gathered and distributed equally throughout the pack.
While the latter was great, I didn’t doubt that Colin was taking more than what his share of the profits should be. He was that much of a greedy bastard, but no one dared speak about the injustice, not when having a voice could get you whipped… or worse.
I scuffed down the donut I’d had in my jacket pocket when I saw the lights from the bundle of trailers my pack lived in. Deciding not to walk through its center, where I could hear wolves awake and outside, I walked around to my trailer, meters away from the rest.
My nose wrinkled at the pungent odor coming from the garbage pile not far from the settlement. It was overdue to be burnt, and so far, only my Dad and I bothered to do so whenever the rotting garbage was all we could smell.
I hurried towards the trailer and practically threw myself through the door. “Goddess,” I growled and took several breaths of the burning candles.
“I’ll burn it tomorrow,” my dad called from the kitchen, which he parted off from the tiny living room using a plyboard he painted black.
I sat down on the sofa bed and removed my sneakers, lost in thought about my encounter with Jackson so much so, that I didn’t hear my father chatting up a storm from the kitchen.
“Diana?”
I looked up. “Yeah?”
Dad threw the dishtowel in his hand over his shoulder. His eyes were as blue as Jackson’s but welcoming. There were wrinkles at the sides of his eyes, and his thick beard was streaked with white.
“Are you okay?” he asked while running his hand through his salt and pepper hair.
I nodded and leaned forward to palm my face with both hands. Wolves had incredible stamina, but I felt exhausted. I could feel my dad’s eyes on me, but I hid my face.
I wasn’t going to tell him about what happened with Jackson and turn his mood as sour as mine. But when he sat down beside me, his cooking perfuming the air along with the candles, I bent my head to look at him.
He reached out and combed strands of my wavy brown hair back from my face, and I smiled. Mathieu, my incredible father, was all I had, and I was all he had. My entire life, it was only us against the world, and while wolves aged slowly, I could see age creeping up on him.
“You have more wrinkles than you did this morning,” I told him, and he laughed and rubbed his knuckles on his jaw.
“Yeah, I noticed them too,” he laughed. “How was work? Are you hungry?”
I wasn’t hungry. I was pissed.
I looked around the small space, at the boxes used for storage and buckets and bottles used for storing water. There were candles on every surface to burn away the smell of garbage, and my mind replayed Jackson’s words that dad and I were nothing.
We had even less than the rest of the pack, and it was unfair.
“Diana?” Dad whispered, and I growled.
“I’m tired,” I shot back. “I’m so tired, okay. I’m sorry, I just can’t do this anymore.”
I pressed my hands into my eyes and got up, but there wasn’t space for me to pace. “I’m so tired of this, this trailer, my job, and this pack. I’m tired of living like this, not remembering my name unless you say it, and hating my name because it reminds me of home!”
The trailer began to shake, the train outside approaching, and the closer it got, the more the trailer shook. Dad and I quickly grabbed several candles and blew out the others to prevent them from falling over. But by the time the train had passed, I was close to tears.
Placing the candles on the ground by my feet, the hanging lamp above our heads offered a little light in the now dark trailer. I didn’t need it to see the look of regret and shame on my father’s face.
“Dad, I didn’t mean…” I began to say, but he shook his head.
“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I know how you feel, I always know, and I’m sorry.”
He looked around the trailer, his blue eyes glowing. “I challenged Colin and was beaten. I’d only wanted to give the pack and us a better life than this, but I failed, and now you’re suffering because of it.”
I wanted to slap myself.
“Dad, you know I don’t blame you for any of this.” I walked forward and hugged him. “You know I supported and still support your decision with what you did. I’m not blaming you.”
His hand ran down my hair gently before he released me. “Dinner’s finished. Eat something, okay?”
“Are you going to eat as well?” I asked, and when I released him, he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
Their glow was dimming, and I felt a tug on my heart. No one cared for this pack like my dad, even with how badly we were treated. I wasn’t the only one forced to endure such poor living conditions, and I’d just allowed myself to rant like a child.
“I’m not hungry,” he replied. “I just wanted you to have something when you got home. You’re out there every day working, and you need your strength.” He cupped my cheek. “I’m going to bed.”
I watched him walk away while suddenly looking as exhausted as I felt. No matter what we went through, he always smiled, and sometimes it made me forget that it didn’t mean he wasn’t suffering too.
I lost my appetite, but I ate nonetheless so the food would not spoil. I was going to get us out of here. Even if it killed me, I’d give my father the life he deserved—one way or another, we were getting out of here.
