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“I can talk to Gray, see if he’ll change his mind about letting me come. I could at least sit in the holding room with you.”
“Why?” My least favorite word of his.
“So you’re not alone.”
“I’m going to be alone for a long time. It’s practice.”
“Victor.” I kiss his hair, unable to stop myself. “Don’t shut down on me. We’re on the same side.”
He sits up, blowing smoke across the shafts of golden light. “Are we? Because I think you’re about to ask me again to stop lying and tell you the truth and I’m getting really fucking tired of it.”
“Do youwantthings to get better?” I snap. “Or is starving yourself in a fucking dog bed in a bathroom everything you thought it would be?”
His breath catches as he turns on me, eyes helpless. “Don’t say that,” he murmurs, voice ragged. I think he's trying to be angry, but all I can hear is how close he sounds to breaking.
“I can’t take it. I can’t be with you if I have to watch you do this to yourself and never even know why.”
Rio sits up, looking between us as if he’s wondering why we fight every time we come to visit him. Victor unfolds from his sitting position, flinching slightly, and shrugs my hand off him. “You’re not with me. We’re not together. I think you’ll be fine.”
As he ducks inside, he brushes his hand once, lightly, across the back of my neck.
Slumping against the wall, I delight Rio by scattering all the rest of the bread on the ground. I take out my phone as he gobbles it noisily.
Everyone’s going to be gone for a couple of hours. Tell me what you need me to do.
