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Juniper couldn’t hide her amusement. “Yeah, I mean, he’s gorgeous. Have you not ever thought so?”
Mikayla frowned as she tried to recall. “I honestly don’t know. We were seven years old when we met, you know. And he was scrawny, and shorter than me, and his clothes didn’t fit properly. Then he just became Rafe. My best mate.” She dropped her head back on the couch, staring at the fretworked ceiling. “But now…now he’s so fucking hot I can’t stand it.”
“Jesus, Mikayla. What are you going to do?”
“I have no idea. I mean, I can’t shag him…Can I? It’s Rafe.” She took a gulp of wine.
“Yeah, I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“No, I’m sure you’re right.” She toyed with a loose thread on the rug, not looking at Juniper. “But, you know, maybe we could work something out. If he was interested. Like, friends with benefits.” She felt an almost overwhelming rush of heat at the merest suggestion of it and took another gulp of wine.
“You’re not serious, are you?”
She shrugged. “I mean, it could work. Maybe. He’s not seeing anyone, hasn’t for a while. I’m not seeing anyone and don’t really want to, to be honest. You know my history with guys, I’ve told you before. I always jump in the deep end, because if I like a guy enough to sleep with him, I develop all these extra feelings. Feelings that put them off. Like I’m too clingy. I know I do it, but I can’t help it, somehow. I sleep with a guy and I imagine I’m in love and that’s that.” She paused for a long moment, thinking it through. “It could really work, actually, the more I think about it. Because it’s Rafe, I’m not gonna fall in love, am I? I’ve known him for over two decades. If I was going to fall in love with him, surely I would have by now?” Eminently satisfied with how logical and sensible that sounded, she took the risk of looking at Juniper, who was staring at her in astonishment. She grasped at the first idea that popped into her head to defend against the argument she was sure Juniper was formulating. “Plus, you know, there’s the burgers and the mezzo mix. That could actually work in our favor.”
“The what and the what?” The confusion on Juniper’s face was almost comical.
Mikayla heaved a sigh. “God, I don’t know! It was something Leah said. Not sure it made that much sense, to be honest. It was just about how well we know each other, I guess. I think that works in our favor.”
Juniper looked at her, a concerned frown knitting her brows. “I don’t know, Mik. Friends with benefits? What happens when you’re done with the arrangement? What happens if one of you wants to be done, but the other doesn’t?”
Mikayla pushed her fingers through her hair, irritated all of a sudden. Her friend was talking way too much common sense and she didn’t really want to hear it. “Look, it’s probably all crazy and I should let it go.”
Juniper rubbed her arm affectionately. “You’ll figure it out, love, and I’m here whenever you need to have a chat.”
“Thanks! Now, how much wine is left in the bottle? The dogs are at Rafe’s for the night, so I can crash here, if you don’t mind.”
Reaching for the wine bottle, Juniper topped up their glasses. “That’s a great idea. Now, let me tell you this thing that happened on our honeymoon.”
* * *
Rafe pulled the ambulance to a stop in the parking bay, switching off the ignition and waiting for Mikayla to speak. She wasn’t really sure what to say. “She had a good run, I guess.” She gazed blankly through the windscreen. “It’s always weird when people say that.”
“She did. She was ninety-two and she died at home with her daughter by her side. It’s not a bad way to go.”
“No, I know.”
“But it upsets you.”
“It does.” She sighed, slipping out of the passenger seat and going inside. She wearily climbed the stairs to the mezzanine level. A few years before, she’d shoved her parents’ old sofa into the tight space in front of the railing. She was never more grateful for it than now, when she could just flop onto it, hug her arms across her chest, gaze out at the ocean and let the tears flow. She heard Rafe come up the stairs and wiped at her cheeks as he sat down next to her, holding out a box of tissues and placing two bottles of coke on the railing in front of them. Mikayla gave him a watery smile and took a tissue, dabbing at her eyes. Then he did exactly what she needed him to do. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him, just sitting with her while she wept quietly.
“I should probably let Mum know. She’ll want to check in with Kathy, see if she needs help with funeral arrangements or anything.”
“Your Mum’ll be happy to know we stayed until the end.”
“Yeah.” She rested her head on his shoulder, feeling a little more at peace.
After a long while of just resting against him, she lifted her head and turned to him, wanting to thank him for his comfort. Whatever she was about to say died, unspoken. He was just a breath away, his eyes intense as he looked at her. She just had to lean in and she could brush her lips across his. He closed the distance first, just touching his lips lightly to hers at first. But it wasn’t enough, so she pushed closer, pressing herself against his side, angling her head, wanting more. She sighed when he obliged, pressing his lips more firmly to hers, pushing his hand into her hair. Then glory of all glories, he opened his lips and ran his tongue lightly over her bottom lip. Her body responded instantly, fire shooting to her core. She was hungry for more. The minutes, hours, days of resisting him all fell in on her. She opened her lips, thrilling at the feel of his tongue gliding over hers. He deepened the kiss and it took everything in her not to whimper. She slid her arm around his neck. Closer, she wanted to get closer. He shifted, turning his body towards her more, so they were chest to chest, but even that wasn’t enough and before she knew it, she was pushing up onto her knees, swinging a leg out and over, so she was straddling him. Perfect. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and gave in to the pleasure of their tongues tangling, hot and wet. She felt him trail his hands down her back, seeking the hem of her shirt. He slid them under, running his fingers along the skin at the waistband of her pants. Yes! He broke away to press smoldering kisses along her jawline, down her neck, lifting her shirt a little, and running his hands higher up her back. It was too much. She made a small sound in the back of her throat, desperate to feel his hands all over her.
The sound of a car pulling up downstairs barely registered, until Rafe abruptly pulled his hands out from under her top, placing them on her hips and pushing her off his lap. He rose hastily to his feet, the heat in his eyes fading as he stared down at her. It took Mikayla a moment longer to get her mind back in gear. She felt breathless and warm all over and it was all she could do not to jump off the couch and throw herself at him. She pushed to her feet, folding her arms across her middle, not sure what to say.
“I don’t know what to say,” Rafe began.
“Me neither.” So, they stood there, gazing at each other for a long moment. The sound of another car pulling up and the downstairs door banging open, stopped any further conversation for the moment.
“Let’s go for a walk.”
“Okay.” She followed him downstairs wordlessly, grabbed her coat while he spoke to Len and Bluey before they started their shift.
