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“Hi.” She held the door open for him to come through, desperately wishing for the courage to push up on tip toe and press a welcoming kiss to his lips. But he brushed past her, through the laundry, into the kitchen.
“Holy shit, Mik, what is going on here?” he exclaimed.
“She’s an empanada fiend,” Rafe replied.
“Fuck off, both of you.”
As Callum and Rafe laughed at Mikayla, Leah slipped through the kitchen and up the stairs. She flopped down on Callum’s old bed. Surrounded by Callum’s things. Groaning, she grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it. It looked like Mikayla was right. Callum was going to leave the ball in her court. The problem with that was her crippling self-doubt made it very hard for her to catch said ball and throw it back to him. She drew in a deep, steadying breath. Then another. Okay, she could do this. Couldn’t she? Just go back downstairs, all casual and confident. Smile at Callum. Not kiss him, obviously. Not in front of everyone. That was a much bigger step than she felt ready to take. But she could talk to him. Just. Be. Normal. She threw the pillow down and pushed resolutely to her feet, ignoring the stuttering in her heart as she walked out the door and back down the stairs.
In the kitchen, Callum was leaning against the counter, bottle of beer in hand. He was watching Rafe expertly spoon meat onto the pastry cut outs and fold them over, sealing the edges closed.
“Need a hand?” Leah asked Rafe, flashing a smile at Callum, then looking away quickly. She was confident that she wasn’t imagining the heat she’d seen stir in eyes. It made her feel uncomfortably warm.
“God, yes,” Rafe replied, moving over so she could join him at the bench. “We’ll use all the pastry Mik made and freeze what doesn’t get eaten tonight. She’s gone a bit wild with it, so I’m sure there’ll be a lot.”
“I can hear you!” Mikayla said from the dining room table.
“Good, because I said it for your benefit. She rolling her eyes at me?”
Leah nodded, laughing. She glanced at Callum then, to find his eyes on her. She forced herself to hold his gaze for a long moment before turning to Rafe and asking him to show her how to make the empanadas.
Juniper, William and Billy arrived just after six o’clock, with John not far behind them. Leah felt quite proud of herself. She managed not to think about how and when she would go about forcing herself on Callum. They sat out on the back deck as Rafe fried the empanadas in a wok on the barbecue, badly supervised by Mikayla.
Leah sat on a long bench next to Callum, with Billy in her lap, facing her. She was trying to teach him a clapping game, but without much success. He just couldn’t seem to get the pattern right.
“Can you do it with Callum, so I can see?”
She half turned to Callum, smiling when he held his hands up, palms facing her. “How about this?” She picked up Billy’s hands and helped him play out the pattern on Callum’s palms.
“Again!” He squealed.
She did it again, then let him go the third time on his own. “That’s it! You got it!”
“I’m gonna show Mummy.” Billy wriggled off Leah’s lap, but once his feet hit the ground, he frowned. There was no room for him to move around the table to get to his mother.
Callum picked him up and placed him on top of the low table. “Juniper! Incoming,” he said, giving Billy a gentle push. Billy walked gingerly across the table and jumped into Juniper’s outstretched arms.
Leah laughed. “Cute.” Then her laugh faded as she watched Juniper with Billy. Every now and then she was almost overwhelmed by a yearning. Yearning for a child of her own. A child that would never be. It didn’t happen as much these days as it used to, since she’d had quite a long time to become accustomed to the idea that motherhood wasn’t in her future. But when the yearning did hit, it hit hard. Like now.
“Leah,” Callum said in a low voice. She shook her head, pressing her lips together, unable to speak. Then she felt Callum’s fingers wrap around hers. She flicked a glance in his direction, but he wasn’t looking at her. She squeezed his hand gratefully. He understood. He’d recognized the hurt she felt and was giving her a moment to get herself together. His quiet comfort meant more to her than words ever could.
“Alright, we’re up,” Rafe announced, transferring the last of the fried empanadas from the wok to a big platter, layered with paper towel to soak up the oil. Mikayla placed two bowls of salad on the table while Nora handed out plates, cutlery and napkins. As everyone settled down to eat, Leah took a moment to pull herself together. Overall, she felt so grateful for the new life she had made for herself in Blessed Inlet. She was far happier here than she had ever imagined she could be when she had been married to Scott. Or when the marriage ended. She gave herself a mental shake, smiling at Callum reassuringly when he turned to look at her questioningly. Then she felt a little flutter in her belly. If things went according to plan, in a few short hours, she’d be in Callum’s arms again, kissing him for all she was worth.
CHAPTER SIX
But things did not go according to plan. Once everyone had left, Nora and John had settled down in the loungeroom in front of the television, leaving Leah and Callum on the deck. Alone. Leah bailed. She just said a rushed, awkward goodnight and escaped upstairs, where she decided that was the perfect time to unpack her bag and put her washing away.
She hung everything in the wardrobe, refusing to blush when she put her underwear in the top draw. Probably the same drawer Callum had kept his underwear in, she thought to herself. If he even wore underwear. “Jesus,” she swore softly as she felt the inevitable blush steal up her cheeks. She pushed the drawer closed and turned away.
Now she had way too many clothes for a stay of a few short days, but at least everything was neat. She was avoiding thinking about Callum’s sweater, neatly folded on the bed. Her plan was to use it as an excuse to go over to his unit. But it had been an hour since everyone had left and she’d retreated upstairs, barely able to look at Callum when he’d said goodnight because she’d felt so shy. The bedroom window looked over the veranda roof to the unit. The light was still on. She checked the time. Just after ten o’clock. She walked over to the record player, then to the bookcase, back to the wardrobe to make sure the door was shut properly. She was so acutely aware of the stupid sweater now that she was sending herself crazy. God, maybe she should make some mulled wine to give her a bolt of courage. This was ridiculous. Refusing to give herself any more time to think about it, she swiped the sweater off the bed and stomped out the bedroom door, down the stairs, through the kitchen, off the veranda, across the grass, until she was banging on his front door.
???
While Leah was wearing holes in the carpet in Callum’s old room, Callum was sitting on his couch, gazing at the television unseeingly. He’d done all he could to give Leah the chance to make a move, but she didn’t seem to want to. It seemed to him that she couldn’t get inside the house fast enough once everyone had left. It was such a new experience for Callum – having to coax a woman to kiss him. He wasn’t sure he had the skill for it. It was a rare moment of self-doubt that had his insides tied in knots. He pushed his hand through his hair, heaving a sigh, then dropped his hand on Bluebell’s head, absently giving her ears a rub as he considered his options.
He gave a start of surprise when he heard the banging and hurried to the door. Leah, a big frown on her face, practically threw his sweater at him. “Here you go.”
“Oh, thanks.”
