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B
enjamin watched the people mutter and whisper amongst themselves, all dressed in black. Some cast somber glances his way, probably wondering how the grieving grandson was doing.
Elijah’s wake was held in the gardens, just as his grandfather had wanted it. He saw a few people wearing sunglasses and wondered why the hell they would do that on a cloudy day. It was about to rain…damn it! The clouds were dark and thick, signs of the coming precipitation; the sun was nowhere in sight.
Over and over again, some old guy he'd never met would come and shake his hand and pat his back, muttering some words of consolation like, "Your grandfather was a great man!" or, "I know how hard this is." He'd nod and smile, but that was it... they had no idea how hard it was; how shocked he'd been when he heard his grandfather had passed on. It had been an unexpected jolt to reality.
He watched from a distance as the crowd slowly dispersed, the mass of black moving on in various directions. The burial had been sad and tiresome. Watching some people laugh loudly and drink as if this was a nightclub made him wish it could all be over. It nearly was.
"I think the wake is over, Mom," he'd said to his mother as he heard a few couples burst out into laughter over a joke someone had made.
"Over? Now? You have to wait, Benjamin. These people are here for your grandfather."
"No, they are not," he'd raised his voice. Lucy threw him a sharp look before heading off to talk to some of his grandfather's so-called friends, the very group that had just laughed out loud.
For the first time Ben wondered if his grandfather actually had any real friends. Did he ever feel lonely?
An hour later, his mother was still moving from one person to the other, greeting and accepting condolences with practiced social grace. His mother would occasionally look up from her conversation, then glance his way.
Benjamin watched it all and felt a sour taste in his mouth. These people didn’t care about his grandfather. Half of them were his mother’s friends and had not known Elijah well. Was this his funeral or hers?
Finally, the first drop of rain hit his nose.
Thank you, God, he thought. The rain soon started to drizzle, cold drops falling on his hand and face, and lips. The air was cold, and the sky was dark and clearly filled with rain. People started to slowly disappear at first, but that speed picked up once the rain did as well.
"Thank you, God,” he mumbled out loud as he watched the people bolting to their cars. Ben himself did not move an inch, embraced the fresh drops that distracted him from his pain.
"I remember how much I just wanted it to be over when my mom passed away," he heard a voice from behind him. He turned. It was Ava. Dressed in black, no sunglasses.
"I forgot about that. Your mom passed not too long ago, didn’t she?"
Ava nodded. "You never really know how much it really hurts until it does.”
Now it was Benjamin’s turn to nod.
“How are you holding up?" she asked.
“Good enough, I guess.”
“Well, I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but it will get better. Avoid isolating at home, if you can; that helps things return to normal. I can’t count the times I went to the museum or aquarium.”
“The museum?” Ben now looked at her in surprise.
“Yeah. My father and I just sat there, in deep thoughts. But it somehow made us feel less lonely having all those people around, even if they were strangers.”
Ben thought about it. It almost made sense. “I might try that, thank you.”
They both now stood there in silence as the rain was hammering down on them. At first it was comforting that someone was here with him but then turned a little awkward as the moment itself was so intimate. He’s known Ava for years, but he had never exchanged more than a few words with her.
She seemed to be reading his mind and she cleared her throat.
“Well, I better go. My dad is probably already looking for me.”
“Yes, of course. Thanks for the tip and for coming.”
“No problem. Really. See you around.”
Ben nodded as he watched Ava disappear behind the main house. They hadn't really gotten along since childhood; as a matter of fact, he had disliked her when they were young. It had been obvious that Elijah thought Ben should be more like Ava. All those years of comparisons his late grandfather had meted out at him. He never said anything out loud, but he never had to; his eyes did it for him.
