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“No you won’t,” he replied with confidence as the dragon’s talons closed over the glass. “You don’t have it in you. Hey—your hair looks like crap.”
I thought of Fafnir’s face as he considered whether he might have wielded the sword that ended Cecily’s life. Did any of us really know what monsters lurked inside? Not always. Sometimes not until we faced ourselves in the mirror and saw the image, splashed with blood of the ones we loved most.
Chapter 20
In Which I Face the Monster(s) in theDark
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The pattern of lines on fae faces seems to be an external manifestation of their internal state. A barometer of the “not self”within.
~Big Book of Fairyland, “Rules ofMagic”
The dragon tookus directly to Marquise and Scourge’s castle—I suspect more at Walter’s bidding than mine. Especially since I reallydid not want to go. At first, I told myself that I’d come a long way. I’d faced various trials and those two held no power over me. I could hand over Walt to his foolishly chosen fate and walk away. But, as we traveled, my calm thinned, giving way to a frost of fear. Though I tried to think of other things, flutters of terror cast shadows over my thoughts, scattering them. Clammy panic edged in with gnawing bites as the silent edifice came into view. What had possessed me to think I could do this?
I couldn’t.
But however the dragon had known our destination, it now did not hear my increasingly strident thoughts to take us somewhere else. Anywhere else.
Inexorably fast, we closed on the castle and, for a wild moment, I pictured myself clawing against the glass, scrabbling to escape like a frantic hamster trapped in one of those clear plastic exercise balls.
Not a pretty image.
Darling Hercules had once again abandoned me for Athena’s clearly superior belly scratches, and Blackbird had her eyes closed in an apparent nap. Walter and Starling continued to chatter, as they had for most of the journey. I hadn’t paid attention to their conversation, but looking for anything to distract myself from the shrieks bouncing around the inside of my skull, I listened in.
“But the dragons don’t eat flesh—they only eat the apples,” Walter explained.
“Then why do they carry animals off?” Starling pointed out.
“Probably because some wizard or sorceress commands them to.”
“So dragons only do what they’re told?”
“Definitely not. They won’t do anything that doesn’t sound like fun.”
“Hard to imagine a dragon wanting to have fun.”
“Really? Everybody likes to have fun, Star.”
She pinked prettily and looked over at me, her forehead creasing. “Are you okay, Gwynn? You’re looking like…”
“Like she’s gonna hurl,” Walter confirmed. “Shoot it the other way, chickie.”
Blackbird’s eyes snapped open and Athena studied me with concern. This had to be the worst part of being the walking wounded. How everyone thought you were so great until you just collapsed into a broken heap of pitifulness.
“Just let me get through this,” I told them, closing my eyes and concentrating on finding the protective nothing place.
“But Gwynn, maybe we should—” Starling started in.
“No, Star,” Walt unexpectedly stopped her. “Leave her be.”
I cranked one eye open to give Walter a stare of disbelief.
He shrugged, scratching his greasy chin. “Yeah, I know—I called you chicken and nagged you into this. I didn’t realize you’d go this psycho about it.”
“Then you’ve changed your mind.”
“No. I can’t.” He glanced at Starling. “I know I’m a little shit. If I’m ever going to be more than that, then I need this Scared Straight deal.”
