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His body stiffened. “Luna.”
“Shut up.” I leaned back. “I’m in love with you. I don’t expect you to say it back to me. I may be new at this but I’m also not stupid. I’m just telling you how I feel. The heart wants what it wants and all that shit, so no, Zach. I don’t care what my father says because I want you. So yeah, you can take that how—”
A hot mouth captured mine in a deep, bruising kiss.
I broke the kiss. “Zach.”
“Shut up.” He fisted my hair, holding my head in place. “Just shut up.” Crushing his mouth to mine, he devoured every inch of it. Slipping his tongue between my lips, he stole my breath.
“Zach,” I whispered against his lips. I didn’t expect him to say those words back to me. Hell, I hadn’t expected to say them myself, but I was sick of this shit with my father. He couldn’t control who I wanted to be with. That wasn’t his choice to make.
Zach broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against mine and took ragged breaths. “I…”
“Shhh…you don’t have to say anything back to me, Zach. I’m not that type of girl if you haven’t noticed. I just want you to know that I’m not going anywhere.”
His breath hitched. “Fuck, I like you. I like this. Being with you. Touching you. Holding you. Having a fucking conversation with you.” He cupped the side of my neck. “But I can’t say those words back. Not yet. I care about you. You have to know that.”
“I do.” I looked up at him then, placing my hand against his cheek. “Don’t.”
He leaned into my palm. “I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re feeling guilty.” I brushed my thumb along his full bottom lip. “Don’t feel guilty, Zach. I know you care about me.”
“I…I would go to hell for you. I’ve been in fucking hell, but I would go back there, just for you. Just to have you at my side. Just to have you with me.”
“No, Zach. You’re never going back there again. Ever. Do you understand me? I’m here. Even if nothing comes of this and we just remain friends, I want you happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Fuck, Luna.”
I couldn’t help it. The tears started to fall. My heart hurt for him. For what he went through as a boy. And I didn’t even know the whole story, but I still ached for him.
“Shit.” He pulled me against him. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
“I just...I can’t...” I hiccupped. “I don’t know what you went through, but I know it was brutal. God, I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” I laughed lightly. I hiccupped again.
“Breathe, Moonbeam,” he coaxed. “Shhh...” He petted a hand over my head. “Talk to me.”
“I want to know everything about you, but I imagine that it’s hard to talk about.” I shrugged. “So, I just…” I shrugged again, picking at a fuzz on my dress.
He cleared his throat a couple of times before kissing my temple. “There were times I wished it would have been me who died instead of my dad. I even tried searching for my real mom but after looking for what felt like fucking ever, I found out she had passed away from cancer.”
“I’m so sorry.” I cupped his knee.
“Don’t be.” He kissed my temple again. “I had Brogan and Coby at this point.”
“Do they know you tried looking for her?”
“They were the ones who told me to.” He paused. “I never thought I would get parents like them. Most people want to adopt babies. Not children and especially not ones like me.”
“I’m glad they did.” I looked up at him that time.
“I’m glad they did too. I not only got them as parents, I got a whole family too. But...” He looked out the window, his eyes dark. Hoping. For something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“It’s not enough,” I answered for him.
“No.” His jaw clenched. “It’s not.”
“What is it that you want?”
