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I stood stock still, staring up into the grayest eyes I had ever seen. I wasn’t new to being attracted to the same sex, so these feelings weren’t unnatural for me, but I had never run into someone who looked like…well…Sunny. He looked to be about my age, with dark hair that was cut short at the sides, leaving the strands a little longer on top. He had a full beard on his strong jaw, but it was his eyes that drew me in.
He cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. “Something on my face?”
I chuckled, my cheeks burning. Sticking out my hand, I gave him a smirk. “Roy Allen.”
Sunny slipped his fingers in mine. “Nice to meet you.”
As soon as our fingers touched, a shock of electricity ran through me. I wasn’t sure if Sunny was into men or not, but I knew right then and there that I was attracted to him. But as deep as that attraction went, I could see the walls he had put up. And I was determined to break through them. Even if it took me years.
This couldn’t be happening. There was no way that Sunny could be dead.
“Shade.”
My name was said but I couldn’t make out who was saying it. My mind was in a fog. My stomach lurched, threatening to spew everything I had consumed that day on the ground in front of me.
“Shade,” my name was repeated, firmer that time.
Meadow held me against her, but I never returned the embrace. It wasn’t her fault. None of this was her fault and yet, I still placed the blame. On her? On myself? On Tanner? I didn’t know who killed Sunny, but I would avenge him and make them pay for taking him from us.
Much to my dismay, Meadow was pulled from my arms and placed in the SUV that Sunny and I had owned together. Although he had been the only one to ever drive it, both of our names were on the ownership. I realized then that he had truly loved me. In his own way. Even though it took a while for him to come out and say those words, it was the small things. We owned a house together. After he moved in originally when he had been with Roxanne, he invited me to move in with him instead. She had never been happy about that fact, knowing that even when Sunny and I fought, it was him and me. It was always us. No one else. Until Meadow came along, it was just the two of us.
“Shade.” Greyson ran toward me. His gaze dropped to Sunny laying on the ground at my knees. “Fucking hell.” He put a phone to his ear and started barking orders, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. All I could focus on was the fact that Sunny was dead. He was gone. It was like my soul was ripped from my very chest. I couldn’t do this. Leaning over Sunny, I brushed my fingers over his eyes and kissed his forehead.
“I love you, Sunny,” I whispered, tasting my tears on my tongue. “I will always love you.”
I could almost hear him say,Take care of our girl.
“I will,” I promised him. “I will take care of her.”
But she would have to take care of me just the same. Sunny had always been the strong one in our relationship but now it was my turn. I didn’t want it to be my turn. I wanted Sunny. He was all I ever wanted. I wasn’t ready to live life without him. We were supposed to grow old together. Before we met Meadow, we had made plans to travel once we retired. Now that would never happen.
“You need to go to the hospital with Meadow.” A heavy hand cupped my nape, pulling me from my thoughts. “Shade.”
I looked up, finding Greyson staring down at me.
“You need to go with Meadow. We’ll take care of Sunny,” he said, his voice thick.
I only stared at him, wondering how he did it. He had lost members years ago when Sunny and I were both just prospects. But he seemed to move on even though I was sure it had been hard.
“How do you do it?” I asked him, my voice rough and thick with the excruciating pain burning through me.
Greyson’s jaw ticked. “What do you mean?”
“All this death. How?”
His face softened. “I have my wife. She helps me.”
“I can’t do this.” My eyes welled all over again. This pain was something I had never felt before. It grated over my bones, dug into my flesh, and ripped my heart into tiny little pieces.
“You can.” Greyson cupped my shoulders, staring intently into my eyes. “Listen, you two joined the club together. You were prospects at the time and drove me fucking crazy. You were hotheads much like myself. Eve said it’s why we butted heads most days.”
I looked away, remembering the many arguments we had but in reality, it was all in fun. We respected the hell out of Greyson.
“I need him,” I whispered.
“I know.” Grey slid his hand to the back of my neck, leaning his forehead against mine. “I promise you that you will get through this. But as much as I want to continue this conversation, you need to go. Take care of your girl, Shade. She needs you.”
I pulled away from Greyson and kissed Sunny one last time, not caring in the least who was watching.
