AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Meadow
I WOKE TO Aheavy body wrapped around me. Shade’s hot breath scorched the side of my face. His breathing was deep and even. His hand was beneath my shirt, cupping my breast. Brushing his thumb back and forth over my nipple, it sparked a need inside of me, but I didn’t hint for more. I needed Shade to want it on his own time. It had felt like weeks since we buried Sunny when really it had only been a matter of days. Was it more? I wished it were more. Maybe then, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
I tried with everything in me not to forget his voice or his face. Shade had shown me pictures of him when they were younger. It seemed Hell’s Harlem kept photo albums around. I had come to learn that Greyson liked things old-school. He would rather write letters instead of texting and he kept physical copies of pictures. Rumor had it, he even had negatives of some of the pictures as well.
As Shade showed me images that sparked up memories of their past together, I realized that I never got a picture of him. Of us. After that, I broke down into a fit of tears.
“I did.”
“What?” I looked at him through my tears.
“I did get a picture,” he said, showing me his phone. There was a photo of Sunny and I smiling at each other.
My eyes welled all over again. “How?”
“Neither of you were paying attention.” Shade shrugged. “I also have this one.” He swiped a finger across the screen before showing me it. It was of the three of us.
As Shade continued showing me more pictures, I cried silently in his arms. We made a promise to frame each picture and place them in photo albums as well. It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough, but it would have to do.
There were so many things I wished I could have done differently. I didn’t know Sunny for long. I envied Shade for that fact but felt sorry for him just the same. The agony was written in the hard lines of his face.
We started sleeping in Shade’s bedroom, knowing the one we shared, the three of us, was too hard and the pain was too raw. I wasn’t sure if we would ever be able to sleep in that bed again. Maybe we would eventually, but for now we spent our time in Shade’s room instead.
I rolled over onto my side, fresh tears welling in my eyes.
“You up, Meadow?” Shade asked, his voice rough. Both of us had been crying ourselves to sleep. We were told that this would get easier, but I wasn’t sure how.
“I am,” I whispered but I never turned back around.
“I keep thinking about what Roxanne was trying to do,” he murmured.
“Me too.” Truth was, I was terrified. She already had Sunny killed. Even if he wasn’t the one who was meant to die. It still happened. So now, would she have Shade killed just out of spite?
“I’m not going anywhere, baby,” he said, his voice thick with sleep.
“You can’t promise me that.” I swallowed hard.
Shade pulled me tighter against him. “I can and I will. I’m not going anywhere. I know we don’t have all of our answers yet but one thing we do have, is each other.” He kissed the side of my neck, pushing his waist into the seat of my ass.
I bit back a gasp. His large erection pressed up against me. A sob lodged its way into my throat. It had felt like so long since we had been together, but I knew he needed time and that I needed patience.
“I’m sorry,” Shade murmured, his mouth finding the side of my throat. “I was dreaming about you. About us. And I woke up…”
“Don’t be sorry.” I turned around this time, facing him. Cupping his cheek, I placed a soft peck on his mouth.
Shade pulled away from me, turned on the lamp sitting on top of the nightstand, and lay back down beside me. “It’s been awhile but as much as I want you, I feel like it’s too soon.”
I nodded. “I know. And we’ve…”
“We’ve never been together.” Shade kissed my forehead. “Alone.”
I nodded again, wrapping my arm around his waist. Sliding my hand up his strong back, I reveled in the way his muscles jumped beneath my touch. “I miss you.”
“I know, baby.” He kissed my nose. “I’m so sorry for pushing you away.”
“You haven’t. It’s only been a few days since we…since Sunny.” My voice cracked. I moved my hand to his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath my open palm. “I’ll wait a lifetime for you.”
His breath caught. “Sunny wouldn’t want this. He’d go on a rampage, trying to figure out…” His voice became thick. “He wouldn’t want us wallowing.”
