AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t know,” I confessed. “I feel like this is goodbye. Or that something’s going to happen, and I won’t see you for a while.” I realized then that those words were the truth and that was what my problem was. I was getting so used to having him around that if it were to change, it would hurt.
He looked down at our joined hands.
“I’m right.” I turned my body toward him. “Aren’t I?”
“I need answers. For myself and for your family. For Sunny’s baby. I didn’t have much growing up, Busy. But I want to be able to give that to Shade and Meadow at least.”
My heart swelled that he would want to do that for someone he didn’t know and for people who thought so little of him.
We had spent the day together, wrapped in each other’s arms. I had gone to the kitchen at one point to grab us some food but other than that, we never left my bed.
“All of the rumors about you are bad ones.” I paused. “Are there any good ones?”
“No one wants to hear about the good shit, Busy.” Tanner moved to the head of the bed, patting the spot beside him.
I joined him and leaned my head against his shoulder.
“I’ve worked hard at getting to where I am,” he said, resting his arm across my lap. “I’m not proud of most of the things I’ve done but unfortunately for me, a lot of it, I really had no choice.”
Curling my hand around his bicep, I soaked up his words when he usually didn’t say much. I decided right then and there that I would never take moments like this for granted.
“We used to deal with this bastard who made us a lot of money. Mostly weapons but sometimes sex was involved. I never took part in that.” He cleared his throat. “Anyway.” He cleared his throat again.
I had come to realize that he did that whenever he was talking about something that made him uncomfortable.
“I was sitting at his desk. My guys at the time, stood behind me. He had some men of his own. There were a lot of us in the small office. I remember hearing a scratch at the door. I don’t know if anyone else heard it or if they were just ignoring it but I went to check it out and…” He swallowed hard. “There was a beautiful but broken and bloody female pit bull staring up at me. She was supposed to be white, but she was so fucking caked in dirt and grime and dried blood, that she looked brown.”
“Oh God,” I gasped.
“I remember crouching and running my hand down her back, making sure not to touch any parts that looked painful. Which was most of her, I’m sure. Busy, she…” His voice cracked.
I lifted my head, cupping his hand that was on my inner thigh.
“She was used for breeding. I had heard of that shit on the news but never seen it in person. The fucker laughed about it and told us that he had a breeding rack and he would get the other dogs worked up to the point they would attack her.” He shook his head, sitting up and pinched the bridge of his nose. “She licked my hand. It’s something I’ll never forget. I remember running my hand over her, trying to show her some form of affection, even if it was just a little bit. I wanted her to know that not every human was a monster.”
My eyes welled, my throat working over a hard lump.
“She sighed when I scratched behind her ears. When she laid down at my feet, she died almost instantly. She just wanted that one gentle touch before she took her last breath. I told her I would avenge her. I know a lot of people think they’re just dogs, but they are the only things that have never hurt me.” Tanner’s gaze locked with mine, hard and determined much like the man sitting beside me.
Tears rolled down my cheeks at what he was telling me.
“My crew at the time didn’t know what was going on with me. Someone had thought it was funny when she died but I killed that fucker. I killed him and laughed. That’s who you lost your virginity to, Busy. That’s who you just spent the day with. Me. A monster. A killer. I’m just as bad as him.”
“No, you’re not.” I held onto him, pushing my face into the crook of his neck.
His breathing wavered.
“What happened to the bastard who organized it?”
“We stopped doing business with him and I had him killed. I actually fed him to his dogs.”
My head snapped back. “You did?”
Tanner nodded. “I think that’s what started this whole thing. My crew probably thought I was unstable. Because again, they’re just dogs, right? But I paid for the dogs to get the care they needed and the ones that survived, I made sure to get them adopted out to good homes as well. Some of them had to be put down though. They were just too far gone with their injuries.”
“I’m so sorry.” I wiped under my eyes. “How did you get Trigger?”
“I found him in the alley by my apartment.” His shoulders slumped. “He didn’t trust me at first and I didn’t trust him either, but we needed each other.”
