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“Show me.”
“Really? Now?” She came back with her mug in hand. “I have to feed her.”
“Fine. We can feed her together. Show me where everything is, and I can watch the video at the same time.” I wasn’t sure why I was being so demanding. Maybe it was because I missed it all and I wanted to make up for it. We had over a year that we lost between us and I knew it would take a while to get to that point where we could move on from it, but this would be a start. And it was a start I wanted to take with her.
“Okay.” Piper placed her mug on the table. “Come with me and I’ll show you where her baby food is. She’s not a fan of carrots. I fed them to her once. I even tried them myself. And nope. I’ll wait until she can have salt and stuff. I even tried mixing them with green beans. But blech.” She grimaced. “So gross.”
I chuckled, following her into the kitchen.
She opened the cupboard by the fridge. “This is all the stuff that doesn’t need to be refrigerated of course and then everything else is in the fridge. I like to give her a mixture of stuff. Veggies, fruit, and so on. Luna’s blending everything herself, but I didn’t have the time for that. But now that you’re home…” She met my gaze then.
“Whatever you want.” But I really needed to see that video.
Piper nodded and pulled a couple of jars from the fridge and a tray from the cupboard. Once she was done, she handed me the tray and a small spoon. “She likes to get messy.”
I smirked. “So do I.”
Piper laughed, smacking my stomach gently. “Go feed our daughter and I’ll get the video.”
I saluted her and rejoined Brynn at her highchair. Her eyes rounded when she saw that I had a tray of food.
“Yeah, baby girl.” I chuckled. “This is all for you. You need to get big and strong so you can fight off those boys who’ll fall in love with those beautiful eyes of yours.”
“Oh God. I don’t even want to think about that.” Piper stuck a DVD into the DVD player and grabbed the remote control before sitting at the table across from me. “I can continue if you wanted to watch it.”
I nodded, handing her the tray and standing from the chair. I headed into the living room and sat on the couch, watching what was going on before me.
“I can’t do this,” Piper sobbed from the TV. She was holding Brynlee in her arms, covering her face with her other hand.
“Yes, you can,” I heard her mom say from behind the camera. “Come on, Piper. Talk to Jaron like he’s here with you and helping you through this.”
Piper sniffed and took a deep breath. “But what should I say? This is so weird.” She looked down at Brynn. “I just want to feed you. That’s all.”
I moved from the couch to the coffee table, sitting on the edge. It was like I couldn’t get close enough. I wished with everything in me that I had been there. That I could have helped her through it. Through all of it.
I’m here, Piper. I’m always here. Even when I wasn’t, I was always around.
Piper took a deep breath. “How do I start?”
“Take another breath and say something like…” Her mom paused. “What would Jaron say if he was here?”
She laughed. “He would probably tell me how beautiful I was. Even in my current messy state.”
She was right. She was beautiful and that would be exactly what I would say to her.
Come on, Piper. Feed her. You can do it, baby.
I cheered her on even though it was so many months ago.
Piper took another breath and looked down at our daughter. “If your daddy was here, he would be coaching me on and telling me what a wonderful job I was doing.” She smiled. “Yes, he would.” She laughed, wiping under her eye. “He would also say, ‘Babe, we got this.’”
I passed a glance at Piper.
She smiled, her eyes shining.
“He would also say that he loves us.” She sighed, glancing back toward the camera. “I’m not sure what else to…” She gasped, looking down at Brynn. “She’s feeding.”
Her mom cheered.
