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I can’t help but grin. “I love you, Mara. I’ll call you tomorrow to check in.”
“Okay. Love ya, girl.”
I hang up feeling much better than when we first got on the phone. I know she’s not wrong. Cain and I barely know each other, but I know how I feel, and I’m not willing to run from this feeling.
After freshening up, I head back down.
Cain has everything set up, complete with wine and candlelight. I smile, thinking about Mara’s words about a fairy tale.
Who knew how appropriate they were?
This is a fairy tale.
Prince and all.
Taking a seat, Cain pours me a glass of wine, and then we are eating the amazing food set before us.
The chef has prepared scaloppini chicken with broccoli rabe, orzo, and a lemon wine sauce.
It’s amazing.
“What’s next?” I ask him between bites.
“With what?”
“The next project. This one is almost done. Opening is soon. What will you do next?”
Please say something closer. Something local.
I hate the idea of not seeing him again for long stretches of time, but I know I can’t say that. It’s too soon for me to demand or ask anything like that of him.
“I haven’t signed on to anything yet, but I have a few options,” he tells me.
“Where?” My hand trembles, but I clench my fist to stem the shake.
“One is outside of London, and the other is in New Zealand.”
I feel myself deflate. I can’t eat anymore. My stomach is in knots.
It feels like a boulder is sitting in my belly, and I can barely swallow. A lump starts to form in my throat.
“What do you think I should do?” he asks me, and I take a breath. I need to keep my emotions in check. I can’t have him seeing how I feel.
I shrug like it’s no big deal.
It’s too soon to beg him not to take a job outside of the US. I can’t say anything. All I can do is plaster on a fake smile and pretend it wouldn’t kill me to have him so far away.
“Both are exciting options”—I raise my glass—“but personally, I think New Zealand would be a better choice for you.”
“Why, Layla?”
“The land. The landscape. The beauty you could create. Can you imagine integrating the buildings and homes with the untamed wilderness? Normally, I would be wary of someone disturbing the serenity of the culture, but with you, I know it would be in very talented hands.” I lift my glass. “We should celebrate. Cheers!”
He smiles back at me, but it doesn’t meet his eyes. I had forgotten what his fake smile looked like. The last few were genuine, but this one isn’t.
He doesn’t want to go as much as I don’t want him to. Or maybe I’m reading too much into it. But I don’t think I am.
We continue to eat, and we both avoid any conversation that revolves around him leaving.
When dinner is over, Cain stands, reaching out his hand. “Come with me. I want to show you something.”
He leads me outside through the doors to the deck, and once there, we both lie down on a daybed that is set up facing the ocean.
The night sky is illuminated only by stars.
I lie in his arms, staring up into the sky. “They are beautiful,” I whisper.
“Growing up, I loved looking at the stars.”
“You did?”
He pulls me closer into his chest, my head resting on his heart. “Always.” I listen closely, soaking up the idea of him opening up to me. “I loved to read about them.”
“In the library nook?”
“Yeah.” His hand moves to my shoulder, his fingers trailing over my exposed skin. “See that one over there? That’s Cassiopeia.”
“Wow. And what’s that?”
“That’s Polaris. The North Star.” The pattern he’s making changes from a circle to a triangle. “Do you know why the North Star is so important?” He traces the shape over and over again.
“Isn’t that the one that always leads you home?”
“Yes, North will always lead you home,” he agrees, dropping his hand from where it is and then moving until he’s rolling me on top of him.
He places his mouth on mine. “It’s time to go to bed,” he whispers against my lips.
“But I’m not tired,” I groan.
“Who said anything about sleeping?”
And then he’s pulling us both up to standing.
Who needs to rest, anyway?
35
Cain
Together in bed, with our bodies entwined, I think about our conversation earlier.
At dinner, Layla wasn’t acting like herself. She was clearly upset. Sure, she smiled, but I know her. She’s bothered by the far away options I have in front of me. Thinking I won’t pick her. Her mind says it’s too soon for me to do something rash like that.
The thing is . . . there’s no choice to be made.
I’ve never felt anything in my life but pain, and with her, I feel everything that is joyful.
