AllFreeNovel
Share Us
His lips contorted into something that might have been a smile on another man. “Yes. In retrospect, I apologize. It’s not something regularly done among… Equals.”
She squirmed, suddenly hot all over. He had deliberately substituted that word for another. Mate? Regardless her cheeks flamed at the thought of being on the same level with him in any context. Though, he was being generous. This close to his domineering bulk, they seemed the furthest thing from similar. He was all solid muscle, pure strength. And she…
“I could feel it, though,” she croaked as a sudden thought took hold. “I remember what it felt like. I don’t remember meeting anyone else who had that effect over me.”
Because that was what he was suggesting. Wasn’t it? Someone had told her to forget. As much as she respected him, she just didn’t buy that explanation. A magical command gave her way too much credit. The truth was her mind was fragile, shying away from those dark memories out of cowardice. Nothing more.
“You wouldn’t remember,” he said tiredly. “Not if they didn’t want you to. It’s a tricky concept. Think of it as though your consciousness is a room. Inside it are various boxes where you’ve stored your memories and experiences. At a glance, it seems neat and orderly—but the reality is that some of the boxes have locks on them. You have no access to what’s inside. You may not even be able to pick them out among your normal recollections. Time doesn’t erode those locks, either. The only way to access whatever those boxes contain is for the person who originally stored them to grant you access. Or…”
“Or?” she asked as he trailed off.
“Oryou break in.” His grim expression sent a shiver down her spine—he didn’t mean those words purely as a figure of speech. “You find a way to access those memories no matter what it takes. Even if you must shatter the box, lock, and all.”
She winced. “That sounds painful.”
“It is. More than you can imagine. Sometimes, agony is a necessary evil if the potential outcome is regaining control of your own life.”
He was speaking more than just theoretically.
“Have you had that happen?” she asked. Though, it was hard to picture anyone having any semblance of control over him. “Did someone ever tell you not to remember something?”
“No,” he said tightly. “Though I’ll be honest. There are some things in my past I wouldn’t mind having erased.”
For a second, her thoughts drifted from her own dilemma to something he’d only hinted at. Never said. “Like what happened to make you leave the pack?”
His startled grunt answered her question before he even voiced a response. “Yes...”
From the way his eyes widened, he had surprised himself with that admission. How long had he suppressed a yearning for home? Loren wished she could empathize.
Her time with her mother was too hazy to yearn for completely. The horror that had come after… She didn’t know what it was like to have a place to truly call home. Barring this exact farm, anyway.
“Maybe it’s a good thing,” she said softly. “Maybe it’s better if I don’t remember.”
For a long moment, Bill said nothing else. The shadows around them grew and distorted, lengthening like fingers reaching from the corners of the room. Loren wasn’t sure if unease or sympathy drew her closer, but before she knew it, she was standing beside him.
“Those memories aren’t hidden from me like yours are,” he went on, his voice hoarse. “I can access them and the pain they cause every single day. There are days that I wish I couldn’t, but you should have that ability with your own memories.”
He stood, facing her, his hands held open at his sides.
“I can help you access that locked box in your mind, but I need you to trust me. More than you ever have before.”
This had to be the third time he used that exact phrasing. Loren wasn’t sure if it were overkill, or his desperate attempt at a warning. Either way, he was giving her more than enough time to back out. Refuse.
And, even as her belly flipped with foreboding, she couldn’t bring herself to do so.
Instead, she licked her lips, prepared to ask exactly what he planned, but he stepped forward before she could voice a single word.
“Those nightmares you’ve been having,” he said, fixing her with a probing stare. “Tell me about them.”
Loren blinked, caught off guard by the abrupt change in subject. “I’m running,” she said haltingly. As she spoke, the images flashed across her mind in chilling clarity. “Someone’s chasing me. I don’t know what he wants, but… I just know he can’t find me.”
A cold sweat coated her skin. Even while awake, the fear was ever present, paralyzing in intensity.
“They’re just bad dreams,” she added in response to his frown. “It could be what happened with my father. I can’t remember that night at all. I’ve tried to, but I can’t.”
She expected him to react with alarm, maybe pity. Anything but nod once as if he knew exactly why that was.
“You need to trust me,” he insisted. “Because to break through that hold, you need…encouragement.”
