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But just because Clara didn’t display her broken heart didn’t mean she didn’t have one. There was no question that she had a lot of depth and character. And such people have very deep feelings, whether they let the world see it or not. I suspected she had been one of those kids raised to be tough, to have their cry and move on without burdening others with their feelings. Clara was hurting far more than she let on, perhaps more than she was willing to admit even to herself, much less to me.
“You know what?” I said. “Gladly.”
“Gladly what?”
“Give me Tyler’s number and I’ll gladly call him right now and thank him for doing you the biggest favor of your life by buggering off for eternity.”
Her expression softened. “It’s sweet of you to say that, Ian. Really. But—”
“It’s not sweet,” I said. “It’s the truth. You’re not overweight. You’re beautiful. And I’m sure you own a mirror, so I know you know it, too. But big or small, pretty or ugly, it shouldn’t have mattered to Tyler. And frankly, I don’t understand why it matters to you. You’re getting your doctorate. You’re going to be Dr. Zapata. I just don’t understand why someone like you cares so much about her appearance.”
She looked down, almost as if she were ashamed. “I care because I’m stupid.”
“Bullshit,” I said. “Tell that to Columbia University and Everglades National Park. You sure fooled them.”
“I don’t mean I’m stupid intellectually,” she said. “I’m smart enough when it comes to book learning. I do good fieldwork and write incisive papers and all that. But when it comes to my personal life...” She trailed off.
“When it comes to your personal life...?” I prompted.
“It leaves a little to be desired.”
“Like how?” I said.
“It’s not bad, really,” she said, thinking it over. “It’s actually very good when it comes to family and friends. And colleagues. And birds. It’s just kind of a disaster area when it comes to men.”
She didn’t elaborate. But I really wanted to hear more. “So you’ve had other bad breakups?”
She stared out at the road ahead. “Three others in the last decade,” she said quietly.
“Were they at least good while they lasted?”
“Yeah,” she said. “They were great while they lasted. And I was very happy.”
“So what went wrong?”
I saw her swallow. “I don’t remember.”
I wasn’t going to let her off the hook that easily. “Yes, you do.”
“You’re right,” she said. “I do.”
I waited for her to elaborate. She did not.
“So?” I said.
“So what?”
“What went wrong?”
“They asked me to marry them.”
It took me a moment to digest that one. “Fourdifferent guys have asked you to marry them?”
“Five if you count the drunken loser at the bar last night.”
“Holy shit.”
I couldn’t help but notice that my voice sounded a little bit hostile. And the reason I sounded a little bit hostile was because I was more than a little bit jealous. I didn’t like the idea of Clara being so popular with men. In fact, I was pretty sure I hated it. But nonetheless, I wanted to understand it.
