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I stare at the side of her head until she closes her eyes and lets out a heavy breath in exasperation. She turns her green gaze toward me and takes in my disbelieving expression.
“Fine. I didn’t want us to have to deal with following directions in an unfamiliar place or stressing out about getting lost, or worse being too emotional to drive, depending on how things turn out. So that meant renting a car was out, and cabs aren’t always reliable, so this just seemed like the best solution.” She pauses, and a coy smile lifts her lips. “Besides, I got a hell of a deal, and it’s hardly costing me a thing.”
“If you insist.”
“I do,” she says and then leans forward to give the driver the address to our dad’s house.
The wheels roll underneath us as we pass the sights of the strip where we’re staying and head toward Henderson where my dad lives. The air conditioning blows through the car, sending goosebumps across my arm and juxtaposing the suffocating heat I know waits outside the comfort of our vehicle. The tan terrain passes us by, and if I loved brown, I could find it beautiful. But there’s something so desolate about it that I find myself missing the blue of the ocean I can see from my condo.
“Are you nervous?” Elise whispers next to me.
Turning to her, I see her looking out at the landscape just like I was. “I think we’d be crazy not to be. It’s been a long time since we’ve seen him.”
“Do you think he ever thinks of us?” she asks, turning her gaze from the view outside to meet mine. There’s a tension around her eyes that I’m sure matches my own.
“I don’t know, but we’re about to find out.”
Before I’m ready, the driver turns into a residential neighborhood. My body tenses, and my blood heats as I watch house after house become bigger and more gorgeous the farther into the neighborhood we go. With two more turns, the driver slows in front of a stucco house with a rounded clay tile roof. There’s a beautifully landscaped lawn, palm trees, and a three-car garage. Elise and I both stare out at the house that’s probably more than three times the size of the small house we lived in after our dad left us.
I fight back the rage that’s threatening to curdle my blood. He left us in poverty and has been living a life of luxury this whole time?
What the actual fuck?
Elise turns to me, her expression unsure but fortitude in her gaze. She looks back out the window, takes a deep breath, and then opens the door and steps out.
“I can do this,” I whisper to myself, while also wishing I had asked Trent to come with me. That I hadn’t been so scared that I let my crazy get the better of me. The resolve to fix things with him moves swiftly through me, and I’m more determined than ever to make things right for good with him.
No matter what happens with my dad today, I’m done running away from my fears and letting my insecurities rule my life.
I open my own door, slide out, and then walk around the car until I’m standing next to Elise, both of us staring at this house with dismay, and a slew of other emotions far too complicated and long-buried to name in this moment.
With a deep breath, I walk toward the door, carefully placing one foot in front of the other and fighting every instinct in my body telling me this is a bad idea. It’s time to face my dad.
I stop at the front door and feel more than see Elise stop next to me. My gaze is locked on the door, my vision so focused on what could be on the other side that I can’t even turn to look at my sister to see how she’s feeling.
“This feels like a slap in the face,” she says, her voice scratchier than it was in the car, and I know she’s fighting back angry tears. “Mom deserves a house like this, not Dad.”
“She has a house like this, thanks to Will.” My brother bought our mom a nice house in Austin when he got his first big signing bonus.
“Maybe this was a mistake.”
I break from my stare off with the front door and turn a sharp eye to my sister. “You’re having second thoughts.”
It’s not a question.
“Aren’t you? I mean, look at this? He’s clearly not lacking for anything and yet he’s never reached out to either of us.”
I reach out and grab her hand, squeezing it gently. “We’ve come too far to turn back now. We need to see this through and then be done with him for good. We’re strong, and we deserve to have this conversation with him. Even if it’s just seeing him face-to-face and getting the closure we deserve.”
She stares at me for a few blinks before nodding her head swiftly, turning toward the front door and ringing the doorbell. We can hear the loud chime from out here as well as a dog barking somewhere inside the house. A man shouts at the dog to be quiet; my heart speeds up, and my stomach tightens painfully. Nerves make my hands clammy, but I don’t even have time to wipe them on my shorts before the door opens, and he’s standing there in front of us.
I’ve seen his picture enough times to recognize him, although he’s grayed to the point of salt and pepper now. He’s still in decent shape for his age and wears a pair of khaki shorts and a light blue golf polo.
He smiles at us both, his eyes lighting up, but not in recognition. “Can I help you lovely ladies?”
Elise opens her mouth to speak, but her eyes are wide, and I think she might be slightly in shock because she doesn’t get any words out. I step forward and stick my hand out. “I’m Becka and this is Elise. We’re your daughters.”
His smile vanishes instantly, and his gaze turns questioning as he now appraises us like he’s trying to figure out why we’re standing at his front door.
