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It’s been six months. Six fucking perfect months with Paige. I love her more every day. The guys on my football team tease me all the time for being pussy whipped, but I don’t even try to deny it. Hell yes, I’m pussy whipped by Paige. The guys don’t get it because they don’t love their girls like I love mine. I can see my whole future with Paige, now more than ever.
We still haven’t had sex yet. Since that first night 4 months ago, we’ve done everything, except for sex. Paige has been saying she’s ready –for sure ready – but I didn’t want to push her. I know it’s a big deal for girls. It’s a big deal for me, too, but I care a lot less about the specifics of how it happens. But I know Paige always imagined something special and romantic. I’ve been trying to plan it out. I was thinking about waiting until prom, but that’s still two months away, and it seems a little cliché. I’ll figure it out. I’ve got plenty of time.
I pull up to Paige’s house and see her sitting on the porch steps. I get out of the car and head over to her. It’s not until I get closer that I notice that tears are sliding down her face, and her eyes are blotchy and puffy like she’s been crying for a while. I run the rest of the distance to her and sit down, wrapping her in my arms.
“Paige? What’s wrong?”
She hiccups and bursts into more tears. She buries her face in my chest and sobs harder than I’ve ever seen before. I have no idea how to handle this.
“Did something happen? Paige. I need you to talk to me, baby.”
She lifts her head, and a look of anguish crosses her face. “We’re moving to Chicago.”
My face falls and my stomach clenches. I feel like I’ve just been tackled on the field, hard. I can’t breathe, and my heart feels like someone is squeezing it. I can barely manage the words, “What? When?”
She sniffles, and tears continue to pour down her face. “Next month. My dad’s company is transferring him. It’s a promotion apparently.” She says it so softly.
My heart is breaking. Paige.MyPaige is leaving.
My brain is struggling to process this information. Apart from last summer, when I was away at football camp, Paige and I have never really been separated. I can’t imagine her not being at school or coming to my games, or just being around. My whole life seems so profoundly entwined with hers. I’m not even sure I really know who I am without her.
She starts sobbing again, and I hold her close to me. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to take away her pain when I’m struggling with my own. I thought Paige and I had forever. We’re only 16. Can we really make a long-distance relationship work at 16?
She hugs me tightly and whispers, “I don’t want to leave you, Jack. I love you so much. I don’t want to go.”
I kiss her hair. “I know, baby. I don’t want you to go either.”
I’m struggling to keep my own emotions in check right now, but I need to stay strong for her.We have to make this work. I can’t live without her.
Nine
Jack stayed for dinner but left shortly after. We didn’t talk much after I dropped the whole “I’m moving” bomb.
I hate this. I can’t leave Jack; He’s been around nearly my entire life. I can’t stand the idea of not seeing him every day. This last summer was practically torture, and that was with the knowledge that he’d be home at the end of the summer. This time, there’s no guarantee of when we’ll see each other again. Neither of us has jobs, and it’s not exactly cheap to fly across the country to visit your significant other.
My dad is so excited about this promotion, which makes all of this harder. I want to be happy for him, but I can’t. I can’t get past the fact that he’s ruining everything.
I’m sitting curled up on my bed, silently crying when my mom softly knocks on the door before coming in. I glance at her before turning back to the window. I can’t stop the tears that are streaming down the side of my face, so I don’t even try. She comes to sit at the end of the bed and places her hand on my ankle.
“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. I know this is hard on you. Do you want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about? I don’t get a say in this move, do I?”
I sound like a sullen teen, and I hate that. I’ve always had an excellent relationship with my parents, but I can’t help the slight anger that comes out in my tone.
She looks down at her lap. “No, I guess you don’t really get a say. It’s going to be hard, but you know you can always keep in touch with Jack over the phone, and we could probably save up so you can come back to Portland to see him this summer.”
“He’s at football camp all summer.”
“Oh. Right. Well, I’m sure we could work something out between his parents and figure out ways for you two to stay close. I know how much you mean to each other. I know I was a little… reserved when you two first got together, but I can see how that boy looks at you – it reminds me of how your dad looks at me. It’s like the whole world revolves around you.” She smiles.
“I love him so much, mom,” I whisper, my voice cracking at the end as the anguish seeps into my heart. I’m going to miss him so much.
“I know, honey. If it’s real love, then it’ll work itself out in the end. Just because we move doesn’t mean you and Jack can’t be together.”
“You really think we can make it work?”
“I think you can certainly try. If you two love each other, and I believe you do, I think you’ll find a way to be together.”
