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“Nope.You like what you like.I respect that.”
She looks at me then like she doesn’t quite believe me.This close I can make out the flecks of gold in her hazel eyes.I can see the specks of brown and green that make a pattern and easily make her eyes the most interesting eyes I’ve ever wanted to get lost in.
She seems to fight with herself—fidgeting with her pen and nibbling the inside of her lip before she asks, “What do you like?”
“You.”The word rolls quietly—quiet enough that no one else hears—off my tongue before my brain even processes my response, but it’s not a lie.
A shadow crosses her face, and whatever playfulness was there disappears.She looks back down at her notebook.“You don’t know me enough to like me.”
I’m about to argue that I know enough when Decker spins around and claps his hands together.“Alright, let’s try it one more time with the whole band.”
Reluctantly, I get up and go back in the booth, seating myself at my kit.I stare at Tamsin, her head down, eyes seemingly glued to her notebook, through our first take.By the next one, I decide to fight the urge to watch her, but the desire to seek her out turns out to be too strong.When the session ends, Trent chats with Decker, and Tristan and Kasen pack up their stuff, while my gaze automatically seeks Tamsin, only to find her already looking at me.Her plump pink bottom lip is trapped between her teeth, and there’s a slight wrinkle between her eyebrows as she gazes at me with eyes that don’t hold the same fire they did last week.
There’s still the same longing there I thought I saw before—I wasn’t wrong—but there’s something sad about her expression.Something that tugs at my heart and makes me want to know all her secrets.Our gazes hold, curiosity about the other moving back and forth between us until the desire to know everything about her feels so heavy I swear someone just wrapped a weighted blanket around my shoulders.My body aches to move toward her, and after fighting the urge just to look at her, I have no energy to fight her pull now.I take a step, my gaze still locked on hers, when my body is jostled back and I reach my hands out to steady myself.I break our contact to look at what got in my way at the same time that Kasen turns around with a puzzled look on his face.
“You okay, man?”
I glance down at his shoulder—the offending object that got in my way of getting to Tamsin—and then back at Kase.
“Yeah, sorry.Wasn’t watching where I was going.”
He shrugs.“No worries, brother.It’s all good.You’re just not normally the clumsy type.”
No, I’m not.I’m the chill, mellow one.I know my role in the band.
I glance back at the booth, hoping to catch Tamsin’s gaze again, but she’s now back to talking to her dad.I don’t know why I feel so…lost, but I do.I’ve spent a week imagining what our interaction today might be like, and it’s been nothing like what I pictured.
We walk out and say our goodbyes to Decker and Tamsin, even though she’s sitting in a chair looking down at the notebook she’s writing in.I’m the last one out, but I stop with one foot out the door and turn back to glance at her one last time.She looks up at the same time, her shoulders slumped and her face sullen.When her gaze connects with mine, she quickly glances to her dad, who’s messing with the sound board, before looking back at me.
And it’sthatlook I hold on to—because even though the sadness is present, it’s overshadowed by the same longing I’ve been feeling.
Now the only question left is what will it take to get Tamsin to take a chance on me?
