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That surprises me.“No?Just like that?You don’t even have to think about it?”
His expression changes to that one I’ve seen so rarely and disappears so quickly I wonder if I imagined it.“No, I don’t.”
“What if you meet the woman of your dreams?”
He hesitates for a second before answering, “I won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?”I don’t know why it bothers me that he’s so set on his answer, but it does.
He takes a deep inhale and then stalls by taking another drink of his beer.“I just am.”
“That’s all you’re going to give me?”
“Yup.”
“Fuck man, that’s depressing.”
He stares at me.“Why do you care so much?”
WhydoI care?
“I don’t know.I just…have you ever felt something for someone that you knew you shouldn’t want?”I pick at the label on my beer, not willing to look at him and risk him seeing more than I’m ready to admit.
He’s silent for so long that I finally cave and glance up.He’s staring at me with a furrow on his brow like he’s trying to figure something out, but there’s a vulnerability in his eyes that has me wondering what he’s thinking.
“Why do you ask?”he finally says, his voice a little hoarse.
Running my hand through my hair, I sigh heavily and then lean my elbows on the counter.“There’s a girl.I don’t know what it is about her, but I can’t stop thinking about her even though I shouldn’t.”
His body seems to relax—although truthfully I didn’t notice how tense he’d gotten until I saw his shoulders drop—and he asks, “Why shouldn’t you?”
I can’t tell him the full truth—not yet anyway—but I can tell him something.“She’s younger than me.A lot younger.”
He arches a brow.“Legal?”
“Barely.”
He shrugs like there’s nothing to worry about if she’s eighteen.“You sure it’s her age that’s the problem?”
No, it’s definitely her dad and what getting involved with her could potentially mean for the band.But if I tell him that then he’ll know exactly who I’m talking about.Before I get a chance to come up with something else to say, he speaks again.
“It’s been a long time since you’ve been in a relationship—since before we hit it big.”
I frown, not sure where he’s going with this.“Yeah, so?”
“You haven’t let anyone get close since Kasen OD’d and your brother sold him out for drug money.”
“That’s not true.”
He arches a brow like he doesn’t believe me.I scan my memories searching for something, some sort of friends with benefits arrangement or something that would show I’ve let someone get close who wasn’t a member of the band, but my mind is completely blank.
Fuck, he’s right.
Jesse showed me that sometimes your found family is yourrealfamily.The band—Trent, Tristan, Kasen, and Robbie—that’s my family and the only family I ever need.
I’ve never taken a second to consider that maybe Jesse’s betrayal impacted my other relationships as well.Not until now, at least.But I can’t deny that Tristan is on to something.
Which begs the question—why is it that the woman who could hurt the band the most is who makes me want to finally take that risk?
