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“We won’t let him go that route,” Robbie says.There’s so much steel in his voice I know he believes it, and it breaks my heart a little bit because if there’s anything my brother taught me it’s that if a drug addict wants to dive off the cliff, nothing and no one will stop them.A glance at Trent and Tristan tells me their mom taught them a similarly painful lesson.One that ended far worse than my experience with my brother since she died.
Kasen stands frozen as the paramedics perform life-saving measures to no avail.One paramedic turns to us.“Does anyone know what she took?”
Tristan, Trent, Robbie, and I all shake our heads.Kasen’s gaze is frozen on Charli’s motionless body.He says something so softly the paramedic asks him to repeat himself.
“Heroin and fentanyl,” he chokes out.
I feel like the floor just gave out underneath me.Fuck, it’s gotten worse.We knew Kasen had tried heroin, but mixing it with fentanyl is just asking for an overdose.He also convinced us he’d gone back to just coke, even though we’ve suspected for a while that wasn’t true.But this is so much worse than we all thought.
Kase wears a lot of tank tops for our shows to show off his sleeve tattoos, and I think back to all our past performances, searching my memory for any sign of track marks, but if he’s been shooting up, he hasn’t been using the veins in his arms.I can’t see anything now since he’s wearing a sweatshirt over his tank top.
The paramedics push past us, Charli on a gurney as they wheel her out to the ambulance.We follow and watch as they push her in, but there’s no sense of urgency which confirms what we all know.
She’s gone.
I turn to Kasen and find him staring at the now closed doors of the ambulance, his eyes glassy and hollow.He looks so broken, and I can’t help but hope with everything I have that this acts as a wake-up call and not the start of another downward spiral.
