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Chapter Nine
Nicole
I’ll Give You Anything
Desi’s eyes looked like a wild animal as he spat in my face and yelled, “I know you’re fucking him. Why else would he come over here fighting me about you?”
“I’m not—”
“Shut up! You’re out here being a whore, sleeping with other men behind my back. My sister already told me she saw you with some Italian guy. The worst part is you don’t even know who he is! You could have got us both killed.”
“I’m not messing around with him. I wouldn’t cheat on you, Desi,” I tried to assure him because, unlike him, who stuck his dick in whoever else he wanted to, I was stupidly loyal.
His head shook violently. “No… no…you’re lying. How do you know Vito? Why did he follow you here?” He didn’t give me a chance to answer before he hit me in my side like I stole something from him. “I shouldn’t let you go back out of this damn house! As a matter of fact, I won’t.”
I doubled over with pain and tried to plead with him. “Desi, stop. You’re hurting me.”
His menacing laugh filled the room. “Bitch, that’s the point. Do you think you can talk to other men behind my back and not get your ass beat? What kind of man do you think I am? Do you think I’m a punk?”
I wanted to say, “hell yes,” since he hadn't started his attack until he saw Vito get in his car and leave.
That attack had been brutal enough to keep me in the house for two weeks. Now, all of our groceries were gone, and this fool didn’t have any money because he had quit his job to stay home and watch me. He wasn’t even going out to hustle anymore. Instead, he was obsessed with ensuring I didn’t do anything I wasn’t supposed to do.
“I’ll go to my parents and ask for a few dollars for groceries,” I told him after pulling out the last package of chicken to cook.
“I thought you weren’t talking to your parents right now,” he interrogated.
“I’m not, but we need their help. I’ll have to put my feelings aside and just ask them,” I said, doing my best to keep a straight face.
He nodded. “It’s the least you can do since I’ve been paying for everything. They shouldn’t mind helping out since we hardly ask them for anything,” he reasoned.
“I’ll be right back.” I grabbed my keys and almost tripped over my feet getting to the door.
“Hold up.” He stood from his seat and came over to me. “I’m going with you.”
“I would love for you to ride with me,” I lied. “…but if they see you sitting in the car, they will not give me one dime. We both know how they feel about us being together.”
“You’re right. Their stingy asses hate me.” He smirked menacingly. “Well, you can go over there alone, but don’t do no stupid shit like try to meet up with your man. I have eyes everywhere,” he warned.
Shifting from my left foot to my right and back again, I assured him, “I’m just about to get us some food.”
He moved closer to me and reached a hand out to touch my face. “Nicole?”
I flinched. “Ye-yeah?”
His mood shifted. “I’m not about to hit you. I just want you to know that I’m sorry about last night.”
“Okay,” I said for his benefit. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
A tear slid down his cheek. “You know I love you, right?”
Seeing his tears made me feel nothing. My feelings weren’t working when it came to Desi. All I could think was that he was crazy as hell.
“Yeah… I know,” I consoled in the most genuine tone I could muster. It didn’t take much for Desi to get emotional and irrational. I needed to get out of the house without facing another attack. His unpredictable mood swings could defeat that goal.
He’d hit me for not wanting to have sex with him last night. When he went into the bathroom, I left the house and went to a neighbor’s house to get away from him. The police came. I didn’t press charges. He promised not to touch me again. It was crazy, but it was our cycle of dysfunction that I wished to end.
“Come back to me, Nicole.”
