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I wake in a sleepy haze and touch the bed next to me. My hand is met with coldness, and realization hits me as dread sinks to the pit of my stomach. Cold sweat coats my body as my heart thrashes in my chest. My heartbeat hums in my ears, too loud to even think. I shoot up and scan the room with my hand over my heart, trying to calm its erratic beating. I take in a deep breath when I see everything is in its place, then look to the other side of my bed. Teddy never came to bed, or he’s been gone a while. All of the emotions I’ve tried to lull come rushing back.
I leap from the bed and throw on my robe, then go to my door. Stepping into the hallway, I look to the clock on the wall. Three forty-seven. It’s too early for anyone to be up, but I hear shuffling in the kitchen.
I tiptoe toward the doorway, relief flooding me when I see it’s Carl. “What are you doing?”
He pours boiling water into a french press and glances at me. “I couldn’t sleep. Did I wake you?”
I rub my hand over my head and grip the opening of my robe, trying to think if maybe I did hear him and that’s what woke me up. “I don’t think so. Where is everyone?”
I look around the kitchen as I take a seat on one of the barstools.
“Warehouse run. Something about bringing some of our supply here.” He pulls two mugs from the cabinet above him and pours coffee into them before spooning three sugars into each. The sharp ding of metal against the ceramic makes me cringe as he stirs them.
“Are you okay, Charlotte?”
I hadn’t realized I closed my eyes and curled my body. I’m so on edge and don’t even know why. I uncurl my shoulders and shake my head. “Something doesn’t feel right, Carl.”
He sets a cup in front of me before taking a sip from his own. “What do you mean?”
I grab the mug and cup it in my hands, letting the warmth seep into me, hoping it will calm the small shakes racking through me. “I don’t know. I just feel—” I cut myself off and release a breath. “I feel something in my gut telling me something bad is going to happen.”
His eyes droop with sadness or sleepiness, I can’t quite tell which. “I’m sure all is well. Drink your coffee and maybe get a nice shower. Maybe you had a nightmare you aren’t remembering.”
I nod with a sad smile and chuckle. “Yeah, maybe.” I want to try and explain more, but I don’t have the energy. The only other time I’ve felt this way was the night my dad died. I woke up covered in sweat, heart threatening to beat out of my chest, then got the news not even ten minutes later.
I slip off the stool, leaving my coffee behind, and walk toward the gym. I find it empty, which isn’t surprising. I pass back into the hallway and linger by Lucas’s door. I want to knock and see if he knows where Teddy is, but I think better of it. Lucas is so hot and cold. One minute he likes me, and the next he hates me. If I wake him up at almost 4:00 a.m., I’m sure his distaste would only grow.
Going to the stairs, I let my hand linger on the banister. There is nothing for me up there, but I know Teddy’s office is there. I shake away the uncertainty and take the steps one after the other. The theater room and sitting room are empty, which means they have to be in his office or guest room.
His office door is open with the light off, same as the guest room. Fucking bust. I wander around trying to think if he mentioned having something to do, but I swear he didn’t, or did he? I know Carl said they were bringing supply here, but that’s too close to the same excuse I’ve been fed for weeks to be real. I chew on my nail and pace more and more, probably burning a trail in the marble flooring with all the friction I’m causing. Finally, I hear the front door open. Rushing down the stairs I see Lucas and Julius walking in. “Thank fuck! I thought something was wrong.” I make it to the bottom of the stairs and look at their faces.
Each one of them mirror the other. Their faces show no emotion. Their hands fall limply to their sides, and their eyes stare blankly ahead… I try to make eye contact, but as soon as I do, their chin goes to their chest, not wanting to look at me.
Slowly I walk in front of them and stop. “Where is Teddy?”
Neither answer. I grab Lucas by the chin and raise his eyes to mine. “Where. Is. Teddy?” I ask again.
“Charlotte…” His face fades to a paler shade as he trails off, giving me the same blank stare.
I look behind him out the open door and there is nothing. Everything is draped in darkness, and still.
I move to Julius. “Fucking say something,” I beg.
I place my hands on his shoulders and shake him, but he doesn’t budge. His lips remain sealed while he looks down to his feet.
“Tell me—” I clear my throat. “Tell me he is on the way.”
Lucas shakes his head.
“Where is he?” My lip quivers as tears prick the back of my eyes.
It’s like déjà vu. The cops who worked my dad’s case, men I grew up with, wore the same expressions. My heart felt the same pain, and my body reacted the same way. I don’t need to hear them say it to know what’s going on, but I want to hear it.
“He’s gone,” Lucas says with a voice full of pain.
“Gone how?” I already know the answer, but I don’t want to believe it.
Lucas runs his hands through his hair and darts his eyes everywhere but to me. “There was an accident. We were only supposed to move some things around, and out of nowhere, someone came and ran him off the road. We were right there.” His voice cracks with anger as he grips his hair again, tugging it with force, and his face contorts into something wicked.
My mouth falls open on a silent scream as vomit snakes its way up the back of my throat. My knees go weak as I collapse onto the floor, and my body shakes. Hiccups rack my body as tears flow like a river down my cheeks.
This isn’t real. This isn’t real.
Teddy was just here hours ago. I refuse to believe he’s gone. That his hands will never touch me again, his lips will never kiss me again.
“Charlie—” Before he can say anything more, I rise from my knees and slap him. My hand heats as the feel of small needles poke my skin over and over, but I brush the pain away. I raise my hand to do it again, but Julius steps in front of me, catching my wrist.
Tears spill from my eyes as I claw at him the best I can with him holding me. “You were supposed to protect him!” I scream.
He wraps his arms around me tightly and pushes my head into his chest. My body sags against him as I cry and scream until my throat is sore and my eyes are too blurry to see.
